Happy Feelings

Five Things to Help You Stay Positive

We all go through moments when we don’t feel positive. It can be due to stress on our job, financial hardships, losing someone we love, and many other things. Sometimes, we are simply tired of feeling like we are not living up to our full potential in life. We all want to find our purpose and cultivate it. We all want to live life more abundantly. There is nothing wrong with that. But negativity has its way of getting in our heads, throwing us further off track. It can consume us. It can cause a downward spiral if we are not careful. Misery does love company. Don’t take up residence in pity hotel with a roommate called sadness. There are ways we can overcome these waves of self-loathing. Here are a few ways I stay positive even on my gloomiest day.

1.   Think of something that always brings a smile to your face.

I think about seeing my children for the first time. I think about my wedding day. I think about having a new day to get things right that I messed up the day before.

It’s essential that we think immediate positive thoughts when negativity rears its ugly head, and as long as there is life in our bodies, it will.

2.   Take a deep breathe or meditate.

I learned from taking deep breaths that it slows down the heart rate. Being stressed can cause heart attacks, strokes, anxiety, and much more to our bodies. We only get one body. It is up to us to take care of it as best we can. Being negative can be mentally and emotionally damaging. Meditating on something calms the mind, body, and spirit.

I love the sound of water. Most times, when I find myself becoming negative or anxious, I meditate on the sound of waves hitting the sand of a beach. The tranquil feeling I get takes me to my happy place. A few deep breaths later when I open my eyes again, I am free from all negativity. I am able to focus on what matters most in my life.

3.    Change your scenery or environment.

Going for a walk can be refreshing. Designating a special place in your home where only you are allowed to work or relax can be just want the doctor ordered. Why do you think runners like running outside? Right, they love the change in scenery and the fresh air. It’s perfectly okay having a place just for you. Let’s face it! We all need our ME-TIME.

4.     Reward yourself.

Buy yourself something special. We work hard to have nice things. Why not pamper ourselves every now and then? Even if it’s just a pair of knockout sunglasses, you deserve it. Stop waiting on someone else to do it.

I love journals. Buying a new journal is one way I reward myself.  Another way, is buying nail polish. It’s safe to say I have an addiction when it comes to nail polish. I feel happy when I see a color I don’t have.

Anything that put a smile on your face is something you can focus on doing to stop negativity from becoming cancerous in your life.

5.   Give it to God and leave it there.

Some things are bigger than us. The only way to get through them is to pray about them and move on. Have faith that everything will work out for your good. Once you acknowledge the problem, pray about it, and give it over to God. Don’t pick it back up again. Let it go! We all know the saying: “Don’t worry if you pray, and don’t pray if you worry.” There is nothing too hard for God.

Remember, life happens. There will always be good days and bad days. You decide if your good days will outweigh your bad days. A positive attitude will take you further in life than one, consumed with negativity.

I hope my tips help you. I am no expert, but I know what works for me. If I can help make someone else’s life a little bit easier, my work is done. Be blessed. Happiness is contagious! Try it.

Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged, & be you!

Purple Hugs,

KeKe Chanel

It's Monday!!! New Blog Post:

 I felt like writing a little short-story today for your reading pleasure. We can be too trusting of people, especially people we don't know. Life happens! Be careful and follow your first thought. That gut feeling is our protection. Don't ignore it. 

I didn't provide many details about the characters in the story because I wanted the message to be the focal point of the story. With my daughter going off to college, this story was inspired by that. 

 

“Jenni in the City”

Jenni looked around. She pulled her scarf closer to her neck trying to fight the harsh New York weather. She was a country girl not accustomed to the snow and other inconveniences that came along with it. Although winter in the city was beautiful, after a few days of slipping and sliding on the slick sidewalks, Jenni was over it. Her gut told her to stay in tonight, but she was lonely. She wanted to be around people. Missing her family and friends got the best of her on nights like this.

“Hello, gorgeous.” Jenni remembered the stranger saying to her as she ordered a drink from the crowded bar. She’d heard some locals talking about the place during lunch, and decided she would check it out. It was amazing. Jenni came to that conclusion after taking two steps inside the place. “I can get use to this,” she whispered to herself.

The guy at the bar was cute in a rugged kind of way like Christian Slater. His eyes looked dishonest, so she smiled without maintaining too much eye contact.  She waited for her apple martini then politely excused herself from his gravitational pull. Being near him didn’t feel right. There was just something about him that Jenni couldn’t put her finger on, but deep down; she knew he was not the type of person she could trust.

After a few drinks, Jenni began to unwind. The same guy didn’t seem so bad anymore. In fact, she found him to be quite charming. He made her laugh. She leaned into him, softly touching his chest. She flirted without realizing she was flirting. She blushed without realizing she was blushing. They danced, talked, and had a fun time. Jenni didn’t feel so lonely being away from home.

As the night went on and the two got better acquainted, Jenni’s head started to feel dizzy. She knew she should stop drinking and go home, but didn’t want to. She was having the time of her young life. Fighting hard to stay alert, Jenni knew things weren’t getting any better for her sudden condition. She told the guy she had to leave, apologizing for interrupting their night. Thinking back on it now, he hadn’t seemed surprised.

Jenni focused to keep from falling in the dirty snow. Her stomach felt nauseous. What was happening to her? Moving along the sidewalk, Jenni held her cell phone in her gloved left hand inside her coat pocket. Her dad taught her the gesture in case she needed to make an emergency call without anyone knowing. She missed her family. Being so far away from home was hard. Jenni knew in order to follow her dream of becoming a fashion designer New York was the place to be.

Footsteps behind her caught her attention. Only one more block she told herself mentally. One more block and she would be home. Jenni moved swiftly. She peered over her shoulder and saw the dark figure approaching her. She didn’t want to panic, but she also didn’t want to become the headline of the ten o’clock news.

Jenni moved faster. Almost there she kept telling herself. As she reached the front of her apartment building, she felt someone tug her from behind. She fought as best she could, but it was too late. Her attacker overpowered her in her dazed state. The streets were dark and empty. No one heard her cry for help as she was pulled to the dark colored van waiting in the alley.

“Never trust a stranger to buy you a drink,” was the last thing Jenni heard before she fell into complete darkness. No one would ever see her beautiful face again. No one would ever see the young girl from the county who came to the city to pursue her dream. 

Until next time, Be inspired, Be encouraged, & BE YOU!

Purple Hugs,

KeKe Chanel

It's up to YOU!!!

Go get it!!!

Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I look around me all the time, witnessing those who complain about not having this, or not having that. They don’t realize the things they have been blessed with too busy worrying about the things they cannot see. How can we expect more blessings when we don’t give thanks for the ones we already have? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want other folk’s blessings! I want what God has for me.

In life, we all at some point feel like nothing is going the way we want it to go. We want things quickly handed to us, given to us without putting in the work it takes to achieve those things on our own. Being given something that we don’t work for is called in my opinion being lazy as hell. Nothing in life is free! No matter if someone gives us a pair of shoes they can no longer wear or have need for. In order to make those shoes our own, we have to put some kind of work into them. Whether it be cleaning them, or making a place for them in our closet, we have to consider how they will fit into our space. 

I believe we should take the same consideration as we do with things, with the people we allow into our life. How do they fit? Why do they fit? Will having them in my life improve or hinder my progress?  These questions are critical. Allowing any and every one into our life, can cause more harm than good. Our paths may cross, but our journeys are separate. No two journeys can be or will be the same. It doesn’t work that way. This process defines who we are. It tests our faith. It shapes us into discovering our purpose, which essentially pushes us into our destiny.

Sometimes we will have to go alone.

Just because we believe in our vision, doesn’t mean everyone else will too. There’s nothing wrong with that. The people who don’t believe in our vision are probably not the people we want on our team anyway. Think about it! The Chicago Bulls team held Michael Jordan up when he played with the flu. They took care of him. But it was he who believed in himself and his skill, to get the job done. He had to, before anyone else learned his full-potential as a ball player. I’m sure he wanted to give up, go home and recover, but the warrior in him refused to. Look at him now, one of the greatest basketball players of all times. In my opinion, the best! Some people don’t know he was cut from his high school basketball when he first tried out. It didn’t stop him. It pushed him to become better.

This doesn’t mean we should try to pull people along with us. If God gave it to you, you are the one who will ultimately have to cross the finish line in order to bring anyone else across with you. Don’t assume others are passionate about something just because we are. Don’t assume people owe us anything because they don’t. Be thankful for the tools, guidance, and motivation we are blessed with. Remember that God equips us with the things we need to finish strong and successfully. If you don’t finish the race, how can you train others to run a marathon!

Don’t worry about someone else’s dream!

You may be given a rock, while I may be given a stone. It doesn’t matter! Why does that matter? It shouldn’t. Don’t focus on my stone when on your path to greatness. Your rock will be sufficient enough in reaching your final destination.

If Jay-Z worried about Kanye, and Kanye worried about Jay-Z, there would be no Blu Ivy or North West. They are friends, both creative lyricists in their own right, following their own paths. Sure they work together at some point, maybe more than once, but they don’t necessarily fall to each other when faced with challenges. Each strives to be the best that they can be. Each strives to give his all with each album released. Why? Because they are passionate about what they do; they are confident in themselves and their gifts; and they know it takes more than just a dream to fulfill their purpose.

We have to go get our own blessings! Not leave them in the hands of other people. Yeah, there will be people along our path to help us in some way, to give us guidance, knowledge, and support; but once their role in our journey is done, the only one who can reach our destiny is us! Be thankful for the things you have. Someone isn’t as fortunate as you. Once we pursue our purpose, it takes ten times the work to fulfill it; and even more to surpass it! It’s a daily struggle, sacrifice, and something we have to want for ourselves to achieve.

Stop expecting someone else to fulfill your vision. Get to work and do it yourself.

Feeling sorry for yourself simply won’t do!

Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged, & be you…

Purple Hugs,

KeKe Chanel

The MeSSenger: Today's featured Blogger

Today's  blog post is by my fellow blogger, The MeSSenger.

We were having a discussion, as we always do, a few days ago about different topics. The next day, I received an email from him with this article he had written. He simply wanted to share his thoughts with me on various topics we had discussed, and I want to share them with you.

Here is what he had to say...

What is happiness?

“Smile”

Many people associate happiness with a smile. A smile is birthed when facial expression is characterized by an upward curving of the corners of the mouth and indicating pleasure, amusement, or derision. However, this scintillating facial expression, pleasure and/or amusement do not always convey happiness; it could very well represent the complete opposite, depending on the situation. So then, if a smile doesn’t indicate happiness, what does? Some may argue my logic and that is perfectly find as we are all entitled to our beliefs, but for me, happiness is something that cannot be seen rather experienced, hence the saying “never judge a book by its cover”. Often times, we are guilty of assuming what is true opposed to researching or investigating to discover the facts, or what is factual; this is why so many of us are confused. Over the years we have learned to accept, very easily, the unknown! 

“Love”

The profoundly tender, passionate, and warm feeling of affection toward another person; or the common word “Love” is another thing that determines happiness for a lot of people. Although I believe that the association has a strong influence, I find it a bit vague to define happiness with love. My reason for saying this is simple. Ever witnessed or experienced being loved by multiple people, and still have the feeling of unhappiness? Many celebrities have spoken, and speak about this, often. I have heard one of them say and I quote, “It’s great to have the love of my loyal fans who look up to me as their role model, but sometimes I feel like I’m going to fail them because I am not happy; and I haven’t been for a while now”. Although the emotion love has proven to influence some great attributes in people, in my opinion, it should never be a definitive reason as to why a person is or should/shouldn’t be happy.  

“Relationship”

Do you know a person, be it a friend or family member, who just can’t cope with being alone? They feel as though they always have to be in commitment with another person in order to feel appreciated, and have happiness. I know a lot of people who depict being single as being cursed; they allow their relationship status to overcome them, leaving them with a feeling of hopelessness. I find it a bit disheartening for an individual to place the extent of their value into another persons’ hand. Oddly enough, people do it all the time, and have been doing it for centuries. I sincerely believe that we all should be co-dependent on one another; meaning, we all should help each other. However, I believe not feeling happy as an individual, existing alone, makes it difficult to be happy in a partnership existing with another person. 

“Money”

All of us have heard it mentioned at some point that money doesn’t buy happiness and that may very well be the case, but if given an opportunity, many of us would at least try! Financial security has been a proven factor to relieve stress. The comfort of being able to pay your bills alone is self-rewarding. Money stimulates that feeling of accomplishment, but does it define happiness? We can go on an endless debate about this and never reach a verdict. Why? Because for those people who have been in poverty for years, money can very well feel like their saving grace, but to those who aren’t strangers to wealth, money doesn’t move them. Ultimately, I believe that it is our opinion that money has some sort of healing power to transform our emotions, but the truth remains “money is just money”. It has no ulterior motive because it isn’t a living thing! What we choose to do with money is a whole new topic of discussion for another day! 

“Power/Fame”

Some people are happy because of status. They get off by making themselves superior above others because they are placed in a position of power. They happily go about their day being worshiped and praised as if they, themselves, are God! To be frank, I believe that many of these superficial earthly gods are happy to be idealized, but the question remains, “Are they happy?”  They may sit on a pedestal and dictate to others with their demands and requests, but does this make them truly happy? I can’t speak for others, but for me, always having to tell others what to do and how to do it, doesn’t make me feel happy rather exhausted. It makes me feel like my only value is to dictate and control people, things, and/or situations, which leaves me little time to enjoy my life. The greatest thing about having power and fame is the pursuit of gaining it, but once you have it, then what? Is it used to make you happy? Is it shared with the one who makes you happy? If so, why aren’t you happy without them? Since questions like this come with the definitive question, “Does power and fame make one happy?”…I would go on to say that the answer would be “no”.  

As we can see, happiness is not determined by a particular thing. It is influenced by many factors both positive and negative, even spiritual encounters in some instances. Whether happiness comes from another person, an emotion, a connection, and/or position of status and power, there is one important thing that determines its’ existence and that element is “you”. Ultimately, without you making a conscious decision to be happy, happiness will never exist in your life. Another person can’t be happy for you, nor can they bring happiness to you. They can influence the feeling, but you have to choose to feel it for yourself. Having money, power, and fame does not automatically put you in a state of happiness. Again, happiness is a choice! So then, if happiness is a choice, how do we choose to be happy? It is simple, we try it the other way first! Instead of being happy for a day, try being angry throughout your day and then analyze things to see which way is better. I can’t speak for anyone else but, when I’m angry I tend to be moody, I suffer socially because no one wants to be around me, and physically my blood pressure usually goes up. I get anxious, my appearance becomes intimidating, and my spirit comes across as ungodly. In addition, I’m usually sweaty with a feeling of exhaustion because of the amount of energy my body uses to stress and be angry. Overall, I do not feel very well.  

On the other end, when I make the choice to be happy, I feel my best and I look my best. People around me tend to be happier as well. I’m a much easier person to deal with because of my demeanor and my spirit. Happiness makes me feel free. It inspires me and gives me vision to see that situations for me could be worse. Happiness humbles me and makes me appreciate myself more. When I’m truly happy, I do not need validation from anyone or thing. I can exist in the world and not be of the world. I do not need a partner to determine my happiness. I don’t need love or acceptance from another person. I don’t have to be the most powerful or the most influential, nor do I feel the need to have more money than the next man or woman. When I’m truly happy, I don’t have to smile to show others my spirit. I simply wake up, appreciate who God created me to be while treating others respectably, and I go about me day feeling like I am on top of the world! Why? Because I found within me that place that only I know how to discover; it’s the place that I call “happiness”! And this joy that I have finally found, the world didn’t give it to me nor can the world take it away. 

Written By:

 The MeSSenger

I agree that in order to have happiness in life, we first have to be happy with ourselves. Sure people, places, and things can evoke the emotion, but it's only temporary when we allow those same people, places, and things, to define us.  We become sad being alone. Why? Because we don’t know who we are!

I challenge each of you, if you don't already do this, to take some time out of your day to make time for yourself. Get to know who you are so that you will be able to let others know, so you will be able to love yourself better, so that you are not placed inside of their little box. It's okay to spend time with yourself. Who wants to spend time with you if you don't like spending time with yourself? No one! 

Take a good, long, hard look in the mirror, and examine your image. Figure out the features you love on your face, on your body. What are your best assets? Not only does doing this help us to feel better about ourselves, it helps boost our confidence and self-esteem. When you know you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good people notice. You become a better YOU! You define your happiness! 

A special thanks to The MeSSenger for being our guest today, and sharing his insight with us. We hope he will join us again. In the meantime, checkout his blog: www.soulbrother-whenlifespeaks.blogspot.com for more of his work.

Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged, & be you!

Purple Hugs,

KeKe Chanel