Random Thought

Today was a very productive day. I worked on another book and it's coming along quite nicely. I washed my hair and twisted it up. It took forever. My hair is so thick it's ridiculous. Wish I had pictures to share but I didn't take any. The style is okay. My first time attempting it, so I will just leave the camera were it is for now. LOL

Anyway, allow me to get to the point of this post.

Why is it that when men get sick, they act like kids?

Now, I don't usually get too sick but I do have good and bad days, were I don't feel my best. I am a mother, so I really cannot afford to be sick, down and out. My two yr. won't allow it. My daughter, who is almost fifteen, will hold things down for me if I'm just now able to do anything, but a toddler and a teenager do not have many things in common. Sue me for waiting so long, but they are my babies. I love my children.

But seriously, men if you are reading, and yes fellas, I am calling you all out. If you get sick or should I just say "I don't feel good" or simply what women call "want some attention" just say so. We cannot read your mind nor do we want to or know what's wrong with you unless you share that bit of information. I am only going to ask twice and if you don't say what needs to be said, then so be it. My husband probably think I'm a heartless bitch, but I have never been the type of girl to just ask, ask, and ask and never get an answer. Not gonna happen. Plus, if you sick, sit ya ass down somewhere. Don't be trying to clean up or go to the store, like you doing me a favor. Trust me! If I'm sick, I don't be doing any of that that day!

Take some medicine. Why suffer through something when there is something that can help? I don't get it. I don't like taking medicine but if I need it, you can in certain that I will be setting that to the side and get something to help me feel better. Go to the doctor! That's what they're here for. Don't think that your wife/girlfriend or whoever will know what's wrong and diagnose you. Pouting and acting like a complete asshole, like somebody done stole your damn bike and Jesus is riding on it, won't get you nothing but left alone!

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, please. I am open to comments, suggestions and any positive advice regarding this matter. I have tough-skin and don't get offended quickly. For those who know me, it takes a lot to upset me but the few things that do, are not taken lightly. I strive to be a better me everyday, so I can handle it.

Thanks for allowing me the chance to vent or share in my randomness. I write when I'm happy, sad, upset and everything in between. It cleanses me. It gives me a chance to express myself without saying something I'll regret, which isn't too often. I life full of regrets is just sad, boring and a trip down the road of bitterness and desperation. Don't let life consume you. Don't take yourself too seriously. Have fun! Learn something new every day.

Today, I learned that, the longer you know someone, the more you will find out their true colors. So, be who you are. Do what you do but don't expect the people who have always been there to stick around when you do or say something that hurts them or decide to take them for granted. Remember, everything has an expiration date, you are no exception!

I know that I have gotten a bit out subject, but this is a random thought post month for my blog and it just happened this way. What can I say? I should have just became that Therapist that I planned to be when I attended college, and then I could be getting compensated for my words of wisdom. LOL :) just kidding! (not really)

You guys be safe, have a great evening and as the holiday season approaches, remember to give thanks for the people and things in our lives who matter most. Know that Christmas isn't about expensive gifts, but something much more profound and special than words can describe. Be inspired! Be encouraged! Be you!

Smooches,
Keke Chanel

You can also follow me on twitter @keke_chanel or shoot me an email at passionatebutterfli@hotmail.com

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As I said at the beginning of this month, November will be just a random post month. Anything that comes to mind, I will write about and post. Life happens so why not share it to help someone else get through it. Today I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with emotion. I wanted to share with u guys something I wrote. Hopefully it will inspire someone feeling the same. We all go through life on a day to day basis, but at some point we all tend to get a little down and out. Know that you ate not alone! Everyday isn't going to be peaches and cream, so don't pretend like it is. You will become a better you by enduring, believing and trusting that something positive will follow. I hope you enjoy. Thanks


A poem: Keke Chanel
Written: 3:04 pm 11/09/11


The joy that once captured her eyes
Is hidden behind sadness
Fake smiles to appease everyone
Only she fools herself
Her heart feels heavy...lonely
Beating rhythms of melancholy
Numbing to her core
Pain laughs in her face
Poking fun at her soul
Her spirit shakes nervously afraid
Of becoming broken
Mood swings are her comfort zone
Giving truth to her wavering existence
No one listens, looks or seems to care
No one notices the tears stinging the
Backs of her eyes
She ponders each day whether or not she
Should give up, run away,
Nothing can be any worse
But yet she stops, she smiles again
Realizing that the most important person
Who cares, had never abandoned her
Is always watching over her smile
Looking at the beauty in her eyes
Peace in her heart, her unbroken foundation
Giving her reason to remain strong, to endure
To exist, to trust, to live, to press on
She holds her head up high
Smiling at herself because the girl she sees is
Just an image in the mirror frozen in time
Not a reflection of her at all
She smiles bigger, winks, turns and walk away
Feeling uplifted, inspired, determined to carry on
She is the girl who begs to differ
Her passion is not lost
She is not broken
She is not lost
She is not worried of what's to come
She holds the key to get own destiny
She stands taller, sticks her chest out
And fight
The key to her destiny
The beat to her courageous spirit
The link in the chain that holds her life
Together will never break unless she chooses
To get in her own way, but the words that
Escaped her lips simply speak "NOT TODAY"
She smiles and thinks,
"I am somebody, God made me in His image
I will win victory over the enemy, so bring
It on, I am ready!!!"

Making a Difference

Today, as I learned of the verdict in the Michael Jackson trial, my heart went out to the family. People are always too quick to judge, instead of offering assistance. We will never know the thoughts, feelings and emotions of MJ on that terrible day or any day for that matter. He was probably scared, lost and wanted someone to hold his hand, tell him it was going to be okay and offer to stay by his side during such a painful point in his life. It's amazing how we learn the flaws of someone after they pass on.

We never know what people face each day. How they strive to be perfect, stay beautiful or talented. At the end of the day, they are human just as we are. True, the attention of the spotlight is fulfilling but at what cost? It saddens me to know that he was broken. Imagine not really having a childhood, able to play outside with friends, attend parties, to go school or attend your high school prom. Yeah, we put people on pedestals but when they fall off, not exceeding our expectations, we simply throw them away.

What happened to love thy neighbor? What happened to offering a helping hand? No one is perfect, and the ones who appear that way, aren't. It's only a persona. Why don't we focus more on helping each other. Stop putting our mouths on each other, especially when you are all screwed up yourself. Take passion in treating each other, as you would want/expect others to treat you. Find pleasure in saying to your children or grandchildren someday that you helped make the world a better place. The Golden Rule didn't go anywhere, we abandoned it! We stopped thinking "united we stand, divided we fall", placing self before any and everything else.

You don't have to be rich or poor, white, black, brown, gay or straight. We are all one race, the human race. Start now by making a difference! Smile at someone. You don't know just how powerful a small gesture like that can help someone make it to another hour, minute or second. Do it willingly. Do it because you want to help someone make it, you want to make an impact in the American Dream. Don't do it and brag or constanly talk about it. What's the point?

The world would become a better place. People would smile more, get along better and work harder to fulfill their destiny. We all have what it takes to determine the outcome of our lives. We have all been blessed with amazing gifts. Don't allow your gift to go overlooked because you wanted to have the same life or gift as someone else. We are all special, perfect in our own rite, don't ever let anyone tell you differently. You hold the key to unlock your future. Don't settle by trying to be someone or something that you weren't destined to be. Dream big, fight to achieve it, and when you do, reach back and help someone else!

“Love—do we accept half or nothing at all”

The wind howled, as the trees danced in swaying rhythm, causing a cold chill in the air. She watched silently, with her head pressed against the window pane, hoping that he was okay out in the hoarse elements. What if something happened to him? How could she let him leave? And over such a stupid fight, she sighed. She hated herself for ever falling asleep. A sharp pain kissed her heart. She fell upon the bed sobbing, hysterically. How had she gotten to this point? How had she allowed love to conquer her so profoundly and now be all alone again?

He was her soul mate, her life. Without him she felt lost…dead…sadness. His smile warmed her heart, touched her soul, and penetrated her spirit. She was free to be herself, to laugh, play, and tell jokes without being looked at as immature. He loved the way she carried herself, carefree, classy, innocent, and womanly.   

                Where was he? The wind blew harder as the rain began to pour. It was as if someone had opened up the sky and oceans screamed “surprise”, while saturating the earth. It was hard to believe only moments prior, the sun shined brightly, not a cloud in the sky. They were having a light lunch in the backyard, as they did on most sunny days. They held each other talking…laughing…being who they are. Love radiated from them, giving the atmosphere a part of their special gift. She kissed him, he kissed her. They kissed each other.

                Passion ignited and their bodies became like a raging fire, losing control. They held hands, touched each other tenderly, gazing into each other’s eyes. The intimacy between them was all the four-play needed. She wanted him. He wanted her. They wanted each other. He pulled her into his lap, touching the small of her back. He then realized that she hadn’t worn any panties. He stroked her butt cheeks gently, caressing them with his massive hands. She moaned from pleasure. She grinded slowly on his manhood, feeling it grew inch by inch. A seductive smile escaped her lips.

                They loved each other soft and easy and then the intensely took their passion to another level. Raw chemistry, pushing them both over the edge of reasoning, she screamed pure delights, pushing herself further into his swollen member. He gazed deep into her eyes with every movement. She became hypnotized, transfixed on him, unable to take her eyes away from his. He moved, suddenly getting into his knees, bringing her down under him.

                She spread wide for him, giving him total access to her beautiful pink flower. He entered her slow at first and then gave faster, rougher strokes, causing ripples of waves to overtake her. She crawled at his back but he cupped her hands with one of his own. He used the other to bring one of her legs up to his shoulder. She was open and taking all of what he had to offer, which was more than she anticipated. All this time and she still hadn’t gotten used to just how well-endowed his was. Licking her lips, she almost fainted from all the pleasure she felt in that moment.

                He pumped up and down, fast and slowly, until he felt his loins on fire. A spark started in his toes, making its way up to his manhood. He exploded, casting his seed into the depths of her hidden jewel. She rode a few more waves of her own, feeling her release soar over his. She moved easy, milking him with her sweet cream. They kissed. They caressed. They made love.

                Now, he was gone. After all this time, long years for being with each other, there for each other, best friends. She should have never asked the question “Do you love me”. She wanted those words to die. She wanted to take them back but as she drifted off to sleep in his arms, he never answered, only stroked her hair with his hands.

When she woke up, he was gone. Her heart broke into a million tiny pieces but if she could love him a lifetime, she would love him with every tiny piece. She couldn’t help the way she felt about him. She sometimes hated ever telling her true feelings. Expressing herself had always left her alone…broken…wondering was there something wrong with her. If only he would have never left. What if she never saw him again? How was her life going to be? The thought caused endless tears to stream down her face.  

                She soaked up all the love she had inside, turned her attention back to the last hours they had spent together, channeling every emotion, feeling and thought to that magical moment, freezing it in her memory forever. If they never met again, she would have those beautiful moments to keep their love alive. If he didn’t love her, why would he pretend all this time? How could someone be so deceitful? And yet, she still loved him with every fiber of her existence.

                More rain fell. The wind howled louder. She heard the beat of her heart. Sadness consumed her in realization, she had given herself to someone who didn’t feel the same way she felt about him, about her. How could this happen again? Why was she always giving and receiving nothing in return, other than a cheap thrill…months of passion…being left all broken? “Shatters of a lonely heart” would forever be her theme song.

Never again, she declared in that moment and then the rain stopped. The sun kissed the clouds away, creating another beautiful day. She knew that she was not alone. If he never came back, she was never alone. A smile…a single tear…a laugh that cleansed her soul, she basked in the moment, feeling the presence of something powerful, something greater than any love that she had ever known.

                Love was present, shining through her window, piercing her entire body. Her soul smiled, her heart laughed and her body sealed it all inside, forever. She thought and thought and thought, trying to figure out what was happening. Then just like that, she got it.

“He can’t love you because he doesn’t love himself. He can’t give love. He’s not open to love. He has never known love, so he is afraid. Don’t blame yourself it’s nothing to do with you. And until he comes to that conclusion, he isn’t going to do anything but cause more pain to himself and others.” Suddenly, it became clearer. She was better off without him. She deserved better, someone who loved themselves enough, to love her eternally. No matter how much he gave her indescribable passion, pleasing her body, there was much more to it than that. She wept, feeling sorry for the next woman he encountered. She was in for a rude awakening or was she?

She realized too that, “they always give more, love more, fight more, pleasure more, devote more, commit more, try more, with the next!” But to each their own, life goes on and some the one who deserves her, all of her, who is willing to give all of him, would come and they would live happily blessed!     

How many of today’s Society is having sex, refusing it with being intimate?

As I had a three-way conversation with two of my close friends last night, the topic of discussion took on a new life and we ended up here, intimacy vs. sex. Do many of you even know the difference between being intimate with someone verses just having sex? The two are entirely two different things, which many people confuse more often times than not.

Let me first give the definition of intimacy according to Webster: the state of being intimate, a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. A close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc. an act of expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like.

Well, the list goes on and one, but the one definition that will forever be embedded in my mind is the one my brother gave. He simply stated that being intimate is “being in to me”. It’s impossible to become intimate with someone who isn’t into you, which in turns just equals SEX. Kudos, bruh, nice job! Do we really get to know someone before jumping into the sack? When after a few weeks, they don’t text, call or seem interested, we feel like shit! We blame or fault ourselves, thinking that something is wrong with us. This can lead to low self-esteem, bitterness, promiscuity and not really knowing our self-worth. I think it is crucial to at least know someone’s last name, parents names, likes and dislikes, interests, and at least five of his/her goals, before giving them your physical treasure. Hell, make them work for it! Most women don’t demand respect or make men work for their special jewel and vice versa.

It’s really not that hard to do, but we have conformed to society and what they think is acceptable. Back in the day, men courted women. They got to know them first. They went on long walks, talking, getting to know the person. There wasn't all of today's modern technology or social networking, so people simply got inside the house and talked. They got to know each others families, because unlike today, family was the essential part of having a lasting relationship with someone. Not saying that you should cater to their families, because not everyone is going to like you. You won’t like all of them either. It’s life. If we all liked everyone, we wouldn’t have a need for Homeland Security or our US Military. I’m just saying. Why? Because there would be no such thing called "WAR". If you plan to have something more, something special with someone, you will have to get along or be cordial to their families.

I think society has lost the most important morals and values, were intimacy is concerned. Women nowadays think that it is okay, expected of them, a form of self-expression, or freedom, to sleep with someone after the third date. Some will do it on the first night, therefore, the “one night stand”. Being free and open-minded is one thing but being stupid, fast and easy, is something totally misunderstood in our society. Men are let off the hook, not taking monogamy seriously in the least. Hell, most women don’t take monogamy serious. Sex has become so casual that most people just want to get a quick fix and move on to the next, if their sexual appetite isn’t satisfied. What will you have in common once the sex gets boring or played out? Nothing and so the cheating begins. There are more breakups and divorces in today's society because of the lack of intimacy.

Now, shall we take a look at the definition of sex?

Webster states that it is: the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct, to arouse sexually, to increase the appeal of, to make more interesting, attractive or exciting, and to engage in sexual intercourse.

My definition of sex: knocking the boots, screwing, humping like rabbits, giving yourself do someone just because you listen to your genitals instead of your heart.  My list can go far and beyond but I will stop now before things out of hand. LOL Ya'll know where I'm going with this anyway! Moving right along.

Don’t get me wrong, sex is great but what comes after? Do you simply say “thank you” put your clothes back on, promise to get together again soon, and walk out the door without any intentions of seeing or hearing from the person again? True, if the sex was exciting, you will probably do it a few more times, but without anything more, hence "friends with benefits" "a booty call" "jump-off" "just something to do". The relationship is doomed before it even began.

I don’t understand how one can just give themselves to a stranger or someone they have only known a few weeks. Call me old-fashioned, but I’ll take that. I cannot even give it to my husband if he makes me mad in the a.m. and it’s late in the p.m. So therefore it takes communication. Talk, get to know each other, form some type of intimacy before jumping up and down, between the sheets, or wherever you decide to do it. Being intimate is so much more than sex. Emotions, feelings and thoughts play a huge part in intimacy. Having an emotional connection with someone outweighs just having sex any day in my book.

Learning what gets your partner’s motor running is ten times more exciting than just getting off. A quick nut is simply that, "a quick nut"! A soft stroke on the neck, holding hands, gazing into each other’s eyes and just being in the same room, doing completely opposite things to me, are the best forms of intimacy. Having a tummy ache and just being able to lay your head on your partner’s shoulder or lap, is a form of intimacy. Four-play is the best form of intimacy, instead of just ripping off each other’s clothing, going straight to the genitals, and then penetration. It is only sex. With intimacy, ripping your clothes will be so much better, hotter, passionate, fulfilling, invigorating, amazing, incredible! Hell, you get what I'm saying.

We all want it rough and dirty when we do it at times, but we also want something more when it is all over. I think that intimacy, love and passion all go hand in hand. If one of those three components is missing, it’s just sex. You can love someone and not be intimate with them or have passion for them. You can have passion without love. But, it’s hard to be intimate with someone you don’t love, desire or have passion for. I asked someone a question the other day. What is sex without love? He simply said, “A friend”. The only thing I could do was laugh. But at least he was honest. Now correct me if I’m wrong, please, but what kind of shit is that? Who wants to give themselves to someone, only to find out afterwards that they weren’t that into you and just want to be friends? I sure as hell wouldn’t! But there are some people out in the world who make this acceptable. How else do people know how to try their luck? Because someone allowed it to happen, once upon a time.

This post is based merely on personal experience and the discussion from last night with my two close friends, one being a male, the other a female. There's no right or wrong answer. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Feel free to post a comment if you have something to add, subtract, or just share. I welcome your thoughts and feedback.  

Take your time and get to know someone first. Everything else will fall into place. Years later, you will look over at that person and smile, knowing that you could have missed out of the chance to love, be intimate with and have undying passion for,  not just a few minutes of sex. Let’s all face the music, sex without intimacy is just “FUCKING” point blank, period, as my silly friend LALA would say. Try intimacy, I dare you. Life will be so much better, easier and safer. Your heart won’t get broken as much, if at all. There is still time because there is someone out there for us all. If you already have them, work harder, fighter stronger to preserve what the two of you have. When you are old, gray and barely able to get around, and you can’t do the things in the bedroom like you used to, you will be able to withstand the hands of time. Keep being intimate! Not only will the sex be so much incredible when you intertwine the two, you will love and cherish each other a million times more. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed!   

Another month has gone and come. For October, I started writing a novel called "Sugah and Spice". I have 18 chapters which are on the blog. The other chapters won't be posted. This is just a sneakpeek of my first novel. I hope you all enjoyed and when I learn more about the book being published, you all will be the first to know. Thanks for all your support. Please feel free to post comments about each chapter. I look forward to your insight and feedback. November will in a random and unpredicted month. Whatever mood I'm in will determine what I write and post. So be surprised!! Great stories, topics, food for thought and much more to come.

"Sugah and Spice"

Chapter 18

                Charlotte Payne was ecstatic. Her daughter was in a fashion show. She was so proud of her, in more ways than Sugah could imagine. She hated that their time was probably limited due to her illness but she would make sure to love and spend as much time with her only child as possible. Being diagnosed with breast cancer was one of the hardest things she faced. Pushing Sugah away from her by being mean was what Charlotte planned on doing, but that simply wasn’t an option for her anymore. Without Richard, she could have already been dead. He was her savior. Now she could afford the proper treatment to give her more time. After she learned of his late wife’s unfortunate battle against the deadly disease, Charlotte’s heart went out to him. He was sweet and charming, a man she had always wanted in her life. The more time she got to know him, the more she fell in love with him. She didn’t care that he had money, could buy her anything her heart desired, she cared about the person he was on the inside. Beauty from within was rare. Richard Blakemore possessed such quality.

Charlotte wanted to get an early start on the day. She wanted to look her best when she was introduced as Sugah’s mother. First impressions were lasting impressions she told herself as well as her daughter. Looking her very best was essential. Her mother taught her the same thing when she was just a small child. That philosophy was embedded in her head and she did the same for her daughter.

Richard watched the woman he was falling in love with do her makeup. She looked radiant. In ways she reminded him of his late wife, Sophia but with the will to fight to stay alive. The fact that she didn’t shut him out of her life warmed him in places he didn’t think possible. His intentions toward her daughter in the beginning made him feel ashamed but after confessing those feelings to Charlotte and her assurance that it was only natural, made him cherish her more with each passing minute. Anyone else would have called or looked at him as a dirty old man, pushed him out of her life or even had him locked away by the law. Although Sugah was eighteen, she was still barely legal.

“What are you smiling about,” Charlotte asked. Richard brushed walking further into her room.

“I was just admiring such beauty. Charlotte you are so beautiful. Why couldn’t we meet years ago? I can see exactly where Sugah gets hers from, both inside and out. You are truly one of a kind.” Charlotte felt butterflies in her stomach. She got up from her vanity and walked over to the man of her dreams. She embraced him. They kissed passionately, taking each other’s breath away.

“Charlotte, may I make love to you,” Richard asked. He couldn’t contain himself any longer. He knew they promised to keep their relationship friendly but he was in love with her and wanted to express his love by pleasuring her. Caught off guard, Charlotte took him by the hand and led him over to her bed. She eased him down slowly, bringing herself on top of him. Their lips captured each other again, more feverishly.

She removed his clothing, admiring his rock hard body. For an older man, he still looked like a twenty-five year old. She could tell that he still took care of himself, working out and eating healthy. He didn’t have an ounce of fat on his frame. His body was a work of art. His skin glowed, smelling like fresh cloves and cocoa butter. The way he wrapped his arms around her, took all of her worrying and troubles away. She melted allowing nature to take its course. Richard returned the favor by undressing her as well. He took all of her in. She had a body of woman half her age, if not better. The flatness of her stomach astounded him. Her legs were toned and she had one of the most amazing pair of breasts that he had ever seen. When she turned around to show him her most prized asset, he nearly passed out. He now knew where Sugah had gotten her ass from. Charlotte’s hypnotized him. He caressed it gently, bringing her deeper into him.

They made love that day for the first time but Charlotte knew afterwards that she couldn’t get enough of him. The way he worked her body was insane. He kissed every inch of her, leaving her utterly and completely satisfied as never before. She considered herself a sexual person but Richard took that realization to another level. Beyond anything she could have ever imagined. He made her want to do things, naughty things to him. When they finally emerged from the bedroom, they were flushed and almost late for the fashion show. Charlotte smiled as they rode along, thinking of how she would make love to him again and again when they got back home.

“What are you thinking of my love,” Richard asked. He couldn’t stop the smile from appearing across his face. The woman next to him was amazing. He felt twenty years younger. His dick still thumped from the incredible climax she gave him. The taste of her body still lingered on his lips. He licked them, recalling every detail of the way they had kissed her all over. Richard was alive again. He felt like a man again. Sophia hadn’t been a sexual person. In fact she encouraged him to seek it elsewhere, pushing him away when he tried to make love to her. They were never compatible in that department but he looked passed that aspect, thinking that their love for one another would surpass.  When she became sick, she moved out of their bedroom. Richard was lonely, seeking love in the arms of another woman.

He longed to feel desired by his wife but she never gave in to his temptations. He felt alone, dirty and tried to hide his sexual side completely. In the end, he found himself resenting her. When she died, he felt relief but missed her deeply. The first few years of their marriage were all he had to keep the memory of her alive. Years of therapy helped Richard come to the terms that he wasn’t weird, abnormal or dirty. He simply married someone who wasn’t on his level and thought that he could fix the problem eventually. No one should have to experience life that way. Charlotte proved that fact true. He was now finally able to be open…free…uninhibited. He felt his dick grow, pushing up against his zipper. He shifted to get comfortable. Charlotte saw the huge bulge in front of him and grinned.

She used her hand to pleasure him until she was able to do so with her body. Richard almost wrecked the car from the powerful orgasm ripping through his loins. The only thing he could do was curse. No one had ever made him climax so hard. The last time he did was when he was watching Coffee and Sugah make love. The thought of that suddenly made him feel ashamed but he quickly shook the thought from his mind. No more feeling ashamed, he told himself. He was about to finally be able to be the person he always knew he was, a sexual being, who gave more pleasure than he received because he aimed to please his woman. He wanted to take her right then and there but reframed. They would have all the time in the world when they got back from the show. Charlotte Payne had better be prepared. He was about to rock her world.