Today's blog post is by my fellow blogger, The MeSSenger.
We were having a discussion, as we always do, a few days ago about different topics. The next day, I received an email from him with this article he had written. He simply wanted to share his thoughts with me on various topics we had discussed, and I want to share them with you.
Here is what he had to say...
What is happiness?
“Smile”
Many
people associate happiness with a smile. A smile is birthed when facial expression is characterized
by an upward curving of the corners of the
mouth and indicating
pleasure, amusement, or derision. However, this scintillating facial expression, pleasure and/or
amusement do not always convey happiness; it could very well represent the
complete opposite, depending on the situation. So then, if a smile doesn’t
indicate happiness, what does? Some may argue my logic and that is perfectly
find as we are all entitled to our beliefs, but for me, happiness is something
that cannot be seen rather experienced, hence the saying “never judge a book by its cover”. Often times, we are guilty of
assuming what is true opposed to researching or investigating to discover the
facts, or what is factual; this is why so many of us are confused. Over the
years we have learned to accept, very easily, the unknown!
“Love”
The profoundly
tender, passionate, and warm feeling of affection toward another person; or the
common word “Love” is another thing
that determines happiness for a lot of people. Although I believe that the
association has a strong influence, I find it a bit vague to define happiness
with love. My reason for saying this is simple. Ever witnessed or experienced
being loved by multiple people, and still have the feeling of unhappiness? Many
celebrities have spoken, and speak about this, often. I have heard one of them
say and I quote, “It’s great to have the love of my loyal fans who look up to
me as their role model, but sometimes I feel like I’m going to fail them
because I am not happy; and I haven’t been for a while now”. Although the
emotion love has proven to influence some great attributes in people, in my
opinion, it should never be a definitive reason as to why a person is or should/shouldn’t
be happy.
“Relationship”
Do you know a person, be it a friend
or family member, who just can’t cope with being alone? They feel as though
they always have to be in commitment with another person in order to feel appreciated,
and have happiness. I know a lot of people who depict being single as being
cursed; they allow their relationship status to overcome them, leaving them
with a feeling of hopelessness. I find it a bit disheartening for an individual
to place the extent of their value into another persons’ hand. Oddly enough,
people do it all the time, and have been doing it for centuries. I sincerely
believe that we all should be co-dependent on one another; meaning, we all
should help each other. However, I believe not feeling happy as an individual,
existing alone, makes it difficult to be happy in a partnership existing with
another person.
“Money”
All of us have heard it mentioned at
some point that money doesn’t buy happiness and that may very well be the case,
but if given an opportunity, many of us would at least try! Financial security
has been a proven factor to relieve stress. The comfort of being able to pay
your bills alone is self-rewarding. Money stimulates that feeling of
accomplishment, but does it define happiness? We can go on an endless debate
about this and never reach a verdict. Why? Because for those people who have
been in poverty for years, money can very well feel like their saving grace,
but to those who aren’t strangers to wealth, money doesn’t move them.
Ultimately, I believe that it is our opinion that money has some sort of healing
power to transform our emotions, but the truth remains “money is just money”. It has no ulterior motive because it isn’t a
living thing! What we choose to do with money is a whole new topic of
discussion for another day!
“Power/Fame”
Some people are
happy because of status. They get off by making themselves superior above
others because they are placed in a position of power. They happily go about
their day being worshiped and praised as if they, themselves, are God! To be
frank, I believe that many of these superficial earthly gods are happy to be idealized, but the question remains,
“Are they happy?” They may sit on a
pedestal and dictate to others with their demands and requests, but does this
make them truly happy? I can’t speak for others, but for me, always having to
tell others what to do and how to do it, doesn’t make me feel happy rather
exhausted. It makes me feel like my only value is to dictate and control
people, things, and/or situations, which leaves me little time to enjoy my
life. The greatest thing about having power and fame is the pursuit of gaining
it, but once you have it, then what? Is it used to make you happy? Is it shared
with the one who makes you happy? If so, why aren’t you happy without them?
Since questions like this come with the definitive question, “Does power and
fame make one happy?”…I would go on to say that the answer would be “no”.
As we can see, happiness is not determined by a
particular thing. It is influenced by many factors both positive and negative,
even spiritual encounters in some instances. Whether happiness comes from
another person, an emotion, a connection, and/or position of status and power,
there is one important thing that determines its’ existence and that element is
“you”. Ultimately, without you making a conscious decision to be happy,
happiness will never exist in your life. Another person can’t be happy for you,
nor can they bring happiness to you. They can influence the feeling, but you
have to choose to feel it for yourself. Having money, power, and fame does not automatically put you in a
state of happiness. Again, happiness is a choice! So then, if happiness is a
choice, how do we choose to be happy? It is simple, we try it the other way
first! Instead of being happy for a day, try being angry throughout your day
and then analyze things to see which way is better. I can’t speak for anyone
else but, when I’m angry I tend to be moody, I suffer socially because no one
wants to be around me, and physically my blood pressure usually goes up. I get
anxious, my appearance becomes intimidating, and my spirit comes across as
ungodly. In addition, I’m usually sweaty with a feeling of exhaustion because
of the amount of energy my body uses to stress and be angry. Overall, I do not
feel very well.
On the other end, when I make the choice to be happy, I
feel my best and I look my best. People around me tend to be happier as well.
I’m a much easier person to deal with because of my demeanor and my spirit.
Happiness makes me feel free. It
inspires me and gives me vision to see that situations for me could be worse.
Happiness humbles me and makes me appreciate myself more. When I’m truly happy,
I do not need validation from anyone or thing. I can exist in the world and not
be of the world. I do not need a
partner to determine my happiness. I don’t need love or acceptance from another
person. I don’t have to be the most powerful or the most influential, nor do I
feel the need to have more money than the next man or woman. When I’m truly
happy, I don’t have to smile to show others my spirit. I simply wake up,
appreciate who God created me to be while treating others respectably, and I go
about me day feeling like I am on top of the world! Why? Because I found within
me that place that only I know how to discover; it’s the place that I call “happiness”! And this joy that I have
finally found, the world didn’t give it to me nor can the world take it away.
Written By:
The
MeSSenger
I
agree that in order to have happiness in life, we first have to be happy with
ourselves. Sure people, places, and things can evoke the emotion, but it's only
temporary when we allow those same people, places, and things, to define
us. We become sad being alone. Why? Because
we don’t know who we are!
I
challenge each of you, if you don't already do this, to take some time out of
your day to make time for yourself. Get to know who you are so that you will be
able to let others know, so you will be able to love yourself better, so that
you are not placed inside of their little box. It's okay to spend time with
yourself. Who wants to spend time with you if you don't like spending time with
yourself? No one!
Take
a good, long, hard look in the mirror, and examine your image. Figure out the
features you love on your face, on your body. What are your best assets? Not
only does doing this help us to feel better about ourselves, it helps boost our
confidence and self-esteem. When you know you look good, you feel good, and
when you feel good people notice. You become a better YOU! You define your
happiness!
A
special thanks to The MeSSenger for
being our guest today, and sharing his insight with us. We hope he will join us
again. In the meantime, checkout his blog: www.soulbrother-whenlifespeaks.blogspot.com
for more of his work.
Until
next time, be inspired, be encouraged, & be you!
Purple Hugs,
KeKe Chanel
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