Saturday, March 31, 2012

Things We Shouldn't Do....

“True Friends Don’t let Friends Dress drunk, in the DARK”

Okay Ladies, well, I won’t just say ladies because men are also guilty of such insanity, so this goes out to the fellas too. I know we all have friends or know people who take the fashion industry way too seriously, to a whole new level. Now, I am a huge fan of fashion, the latest trends, being bold, confident, but some take this extremely too far. Not all trends are for everybody. Having an individual style is always a nice gesture, until it is taken far beyond the point of no return. It helps one define their personality or stand out from others. It boosts self-esteem, helps give the extra push to go after a new job, approach a certain guy/girl, build up the nerve to do something not in their comfort zone, think outside the box, and many other motivations. But when is this too much? Should friends just sit back and allow each other to make complete fools or spectacles of themselves? Besides, true friends should be able to step up and say something, if this type of thing happens among each other. Don’t let your “friend” “home-girl” “boy” “partna” “BFF” or so forth, go out in public dressed like a porn star on crack, a pig in a blanket or looking like the good year blimp, when they don’t have to do so. If you are a size 16, buy that size and not a size 6, trying to squeeze into it. That shit is not cute in the least!  Trust me, no one, I mean absolutely no one, wants to see the five food groups stuffed in clothing.

Cottage cheese and bare legs are like oil and water, they simply don’t mix. If you are shaped like an eggplant, you should steer clear from skinny leg jeans. A cabbage, shouldn’t dress anywhere remotely close to an apple or pear. Put your size cantaloupes in a size large top and not a small that clearly fits a pair of walnuts. If your stomach looks like burnt toast, hangs like tomatoes on a vine, cover it the hell up. Back fat that resembles two cows fighting in a hen house, should never, ever, put on a cat suit. The more I think of that image in my head, the more I stand firm on my being against it. Do the complete opposite of Nike and just don’t do it. If your toes hang over your shoes like a pair of chicken feet, don’t wear your feet out, like Diddy said, “That shit scares me”. And make sure you are able to walk in the six inch stilettos that look so amazing in the stores before wearing them out in public. It’s a very sad thing to see a pair of shoes kicking someone’s ass as they try to fight back unsuccessfully. At least try to practice at home that way when you do walk in them, you can. There is nothing like seeing a confident person, stepping lively in a nice looking pair of shoes. And if you have more dents and bumps on your ass, don’t wear tights without a shirt long enough to cover it up!

I recently attended a concert and was like “WHOA”! I saw so much “unwanted to see” ass, legs, tits and everything in between. I was like, “Do people really do this?” “Is this real?” “Are my eyes playing tricks on me?” The freaks don’t just come out at night, they come out at concerts! There were more side shows than the actual circus. I saw a set of twins, who didn’t look related at all, dressed like their stomachs attacked their asses, fell on their feet and then tried to do a lap-dance on their heads. Yeah, don’t try to figure it out, it was that bad! Some things just shouldn’t ever be done and definitely not repeated. Who does that? If you are over the age of eight, there is no reason to dress in the exact same outfit, from head to toe, as your best friend. I don’t care if you are a twin or not, that shit is so played out! I saw a guy dressed like he wanted to take a walk on the dark side, but got confused by the Easter Bunny. There was a woman wearing a pair of thigh-high, silver-glitter, metallic boots, looking stupid as hell, like uncooked spaghetti. She was dressed in watermelon sized clothing, when she was the size of a lemon. Her dress was nice but too big on her. It made her look sickly. It’s really okay to wear your size when you are petite. Trust me no one is going to get mad at you.

There were a lot of women there dressed like sluts, leaving nothing to the imagination. There was more Camel-toe than in the desert. Some wore light clothing, tight and revealing their thongs, and a few didn’t care to wear any underwear at all. I hate having or seeing a panty line too, but if you can see the thin fabric through the clothing and you are not up next at the strip club, you are doing too much!  Crack kills, is all I will say about that because when you sit down and your ass gets all the attention, your pants are too damn little! Contrary to belief, men do want to imagine, not just see everything at first glance. The way someone dress, does say a lot about them whether we want to believe that or not. Not saying every person who dresses revealing is easy, or a tramp, but more than likely it’s true.  Just like women who dress like men and men who dress like women, the message is loud and clear. There is nothing wrong with it, if it’s your personal preference, just make sure you dress accordingly, appropriately, and amazingly when you put on your clothing. There is always something fashionable that will fit your personal style. Remember that being sexy isn’t about the tightest pair of jeans, the shortest dress or skirt, or the amount of skin shown, it’s about being confident, having high self-esteem and knowing your self-worth. No one remembers the person who dresses half-naked, but instead, the person who dresses sexy, covered and confident. She will be the one everyone admires, envies or asks “where did you get those shoes” or even compliment her on just how nicely she looks. She will eventually take the world by storm!   

I don’t pride myself as being the best shaped or looking person, but I do clean up nicely, and try to wear or have a certain style that compliments ME. If I don’t like the way I look when I look at myself in the mirror, I know that the public won’t like it either. If I feel sexy and confident to myself, then I don’t care what everyone may have to say, but don’t be too quick to disregard the comments from others. Those comments can possibly keep you from a life of being ridiculed, embarrassed or placed into a certain category. Don’t let your friends wear clothing that you know looks horrible, degrading or downright ridiculous. It does matter what you think of them and what they think of you. Friends care about each other and won’t intentionally hurt them or allow them to hurt themselves. If you have friends who won’t tell you the truth, you should seriously consider getting a new set. “You can do badly all by yourself!” No one wants to be left out. This world is crazy enough. Don’t add attention to the stress you already have by dressing like someone you’re not or who you shouldn’t have to. Enjoy life and all the many joys it has to offer! Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be YOU!!!  

Keke Chanel

Sunday, March 25, 2012


“Is there a price for FREEDOM?”

This world we call “land of the free” is getting more and more costly every single day, and sadly some people more than others. Lives are being taking without just cause, innocently, and nothing is being remotely done about it. Whether it’s the price you pay because of the color of your skin, the level of education you have and who you know, there is always a ransom set to be rendered at the end of each transaction toward equality. No one is exempt, not even the innocence of our children! When the repo man comes, he will leave with anything he can attach himself with. Nothing is left unharmed. The body, mind, determination, loyalty, and ultimately soul will be tested and pushed over the limit, beyond the breaking point, allowing the power of evil to disease our spirits. Equality, according to Webster is: the state or quality of being equal; correspondence in quantity, degree, value, rank, or ability. Will there ever be such existence? And just for how long will it last?

One would think that it being the year 2012, centuries from discrimination, segregation, sexism, racism, or any form of inequality, that we wouldn’t encounter the harsh reality of prejudice, but sadly, we see and hear about more hate and violence than love and compassion towards one another. Having compassion is the greatness gift one can be blessed with, but many individuals refuse to acknowledge such amazing characteristic! We are too busy putting down on, gossiping, and discouraging each other than the opposite. One would think that because we all possess equal rights, or so we have been lead to believe, this sort of illness would seize to exist as much as it does, but the world we live in and love so much is slowly enraging an epidemic that will eventually cause our extinction. It is up to us, the people of this potentially great world, to change the outcome of our unpredictable future. Sadly now, we still face something thought to be put to rest, buried with Jim Crow! Hate!

We turn on our televisions, radios, and computers to shocking headlines such as “hate crimes” or “racial profiling” cases. My sister and I were having a discussion the other day and someone she knew asked the million dollar question, “why does everything always have to be about race?” Great question! When someone finds the answer that proves otherwise, please let America know. The seven deadly sins are plaguing this country, our society, making them deadlier than ever. Envy, greed, pride, lust, gluttony, sloth and wrath rule this world, fueling the eighth, called hatred and not just between different cultures, ethnicities, but among races as well. So it’s not just solely between black and white. There are too many crimes, murders, between our own that I care to mention, but until the individuals who take part in such madness, want to do and know better, we will continue to see mothers crying, our brothers behind bars, our sisters scared to walk home from the bus stop, and filling up cemeteries.

Wake up people!! Stop blaming everyone else and start first with self. Ask the question, “what am I doing to help instead of hurt society?” “Can my actions be better in the decisions I make?” “Am I a negative or positive person?” “Do I truly love myself?” “Am I willing to show compassion towards others?” “Do you see but remain blind?” If we show that we won’t tolerate being bullied, made to be afraid of, or simply chose to turn our heads, all the ones committing such violent acts will think twice and eventually stop behaving like animals. And even animals use common sense. You don’t hear or see a giraffe attacking a lion. It is understood that it is the “king of the jungle”; therefore its’ very presence demands and commands respect. As human beings, it is up to us to show and make understood to the weak links in our chain called society that they are not tolerated and shall not be accepted. No matter the color of their skin, level of education, who they know or don’t know, and any other method to form separation or inequality, it won’t be allowed! Then and only then will we see justice served, laws abided by and love among all mankind. Dr. King’s dream will truly exist, and our nation will be able to truly live up to its name “land of the free and home of the brave!” Our constitution will reign true. “One nation under God, with liberty and justice for all”, will finally not just be words written on paper, but unquestionably be our countries’ unbreakable bond, plague of allegiance, against anyone who is willing to say differently. This time we live in is crucial. We are obligated as American’s to show better of ourselves. After all, it’s our very lives that depend on it. Start today toward a brighter and better tomorrow if granted. Living in the moment has sentimental value, but will cause you to live a limitless life in the end! You be the judge…

Until next time, Be inspired, be encouraged, and be you!

Keke Chanel

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Trying to growup too fast!!

Value Yourself so that others will too!!

As I look at you, I become disgusted, tired of looking at the way you walk around like "you" own the entire world. You don't care about anyone or anything but yourself, and sometimes I wonder if you even care about that. Thinking that everyone owes you something is not the way to go in life. Have some self-respect. Know your self-worth, so that others can see the way you carry yourself and want to approach you with a simple "hello" instead of "what's hadnin Shawty" "damn she fine" or "Imma hit that".

People only treat you the way you allow them to and if they see you treating yourself badly, they will do the same, even worse. Dressing like a slut, places you instantly into a category that only says "I'm easy"! Don't you get it! Not every boy who tells you how fine you are or how cute your smile is, is worthy of entering your secret passage. It's okay to wait. You have time to do adult things. Be a kid for as long as you possibly can, because you cannot turn back the hands of time. Opening yourself up to a hard-life, quickly turns into no-life at all!

Although bad things happened in the past, it should not define you. Know that those things were not your fault. You did nothing wrong to endure such pain. The one who hurt you will get their punishment. But you chose to forgive them, so stop using it as a reason to do what you want to do.Or make others feel sorry for you. It should inspire or motivate you into being better, beating the odds. You are never alone! And this victim act is really getting old.

You have people in your corner, who love and cherish you. But, those people will not enable you. You won't simply get your way just because you think you can or should. Don't try to make people feel sorry for you, or expect reward when you don't deserve any. It doesn't work like that! And if you think that it does, you truly have a lot to learn. I pray that you get it because if you don't, you are in for a rude awakening!

Taking advantage of the people who love you most, will only cause you the most pain in the end. When those people get feed up, tired of your evil ways, you will be on your own, with no one to fight for you. The same young boy who tell you to slip school, sneak out at night, will get what he wants and then treat the next girl, the one who knows and values her self-worth, with uncompromising respect. She will be the one he goes above and beyond to protect. The rules that her parents set won't get taken advantage of or overlooked. He will follow them because he cares about her and not what's under her shirt or between her legs. She won't have to feel obligated or pressured into doing something that she is not ready for, and he will wait for her, while you will become just another notch under his belt!

Think about it!!!  

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


“This Justice System Sucks…!”

I am pissed off! What has this world really come to? Is there even such a thing called “justice”? I know most of you have heard about the 17 year old boy, Trayvon Martin, who was blatantly killed a few weeks ago. They call it being in the wrong place, at the wrong, but is this the case? Trayvon was visiting relatives in Florida, who lived in a gated community, in a predominately white neighborhood. A person in charge of the neighborhood watch shot Trayvon after calling the police saying that he looked “up to no good and suspicious”. Informing the dispatcher that he was in pursuit of the young man, he was told to stop following him and wait until a law enforcement agent showed up.

As the story unfolds, new information is turning up and only making the tragic event worse. More people are getting involved to get justice for the unnecessary crime. What I don’t understand is how the guy is still not charged after the 911 call clearly provides substantial evidence that Trayvon wasn’t a threat, but the victim of racial profiling? His screams were heard and then a single gunshot. Another young life taken too soon by someone because of the color of his skin, and nothing seems to be done about it. The guy claims that it was an act of self-defense. BULLSHIT!!!!

Now correct me if I’m wrong but, if someone is a threat to someone, would they be screaming “HELP” from the top of their lungs, trying to bring attention to the situation? If someone was up to no good, wouldn’t they be armed with something to do harm to anyone who got in their way? The only thing found of Trayvon was a pack of skittles and a can of tea for his younger brother. Now, I am not a genius but damn that doesn’t fit to me!

I’m sure Trayvon isn’t the first and probably won’t be the last to become a victim of such madness, but something should be done about this. If you ask me, something should have been done way before now and nothing is being done at all. This man is walking around while a mother and father is burying their son. I hate to say it but let me just be clear on this, had Trayvon been white, walking in a black neighborhood, the worst thing that would have possibly happened to him was getting beat up, if anything at all. In black neighborhoods, we talk to each other and so when relatives come for a visit, everyone will know it. We are just nosy like that and in times like these, is that such a bad thing?

I have been watching the news, reading emails and on twitter for the last few days and I am glad that “our people” are prone to getting into one another’s business because the story of Trayvon is making noise in the community and so something will get done about his untimely death. Celebrities are getting involved and this is huge for his family. The more talk about this, the more pressure on the authorities to see justice prevail.

I pray for Trayvon’s family. I want them to know that they are not alone and that even though the justice system is wicked, simply injustice when it matters most, God has the final say, and it will be okay! If a woman can kill her own three year old daughter and not get convicted of the crime, a man can put his son in the dryer just to scare him a bit, and not have protective services all over them, then when will there be justice? The people who really need justice on their sides are left trying to figure it out, or stay alive until something extreme happens before anyone gets involved.

Skittles vs. Gun, tell me which one is the threat!

This story is disturbing, devastating and all the other words pertaining to two. Are our children safe? Can we let them go places and not have to worry about them being falsely accused or worse, when there are at least a million other things we already worry about? When will the color of someone’s skin not come into play in this cruel world? We were all created in God’s image, so then we are all created equal. Can someone please share this bit of significant information with all the racist, sexist, ignorant people who only take up space and energy in this world! Grow the hell up and stop treating people with cruelty simply because you don’t like the color of their skin, sex, religion, where they’re from, how much money they make and other senseless garbage. Nine times out of ten, those who treat others as such probably are not happy with themselves or their situation. (Change it! Do something about it!)

People should get to know the people who live in their neighborhood, so this type of crime doesn’t happen again. And if you see something that doesn’t look normal, speak up and out about it before someone innocent gets hurt. Even if you are afraid to, at least call the police and get them to listen to you. Be firm, urgent! I firmly believe that if the neighbors who heard all the commotion or saw the guy following Trayvon, or even known his relatives, this would have turned out differently. If the woman on the phone with 911 listening to the loud cries for help from Trayvon or would have just stuck her head outside her door, it could have deterred the man from shooting him. But, now I guess we will never know for sure, right. My hearts weeps because this shouldn’t have happened.

“Rest In Peace Trayvon, and know that your name will live on forever. Even though you are gone too soon, you will change the face of the justice system in this country. God needed you more!”

“A cry for help is simply that! Don’t ignore it. Someone’s life may depend on your decision to take notice or turn away, in fear of what might happen to you or how other’s will treat or look at you. Make a difference in life, not just live in it. This type of injustice has gone on far too long and has to stop. Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be YOU!

Keke Chanel

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Monday, March 19, 2012


Concert Review

Before I begin, let me please apologize for a few choice words and phrases that may come up and out of my mind. Although I speak my mind, I want to make sure that all are aware of that fact so if you didn’t know, now you do. With that being said, let’s go!

Saturday night, date night, family night, Tyrese concert night!! Yay, and thanks to the Hubby for getting great tickets, section B, row 9, not bad at all. We were right in the hustle and bustle of it all. We even had to endure the sights that should have been unseen, the perks of being straight in front of the stage, both good and bad.

The show began at 8:00pm sharp. LaTangela Fay, a local female radio personality, took the stage and got things underway. She was a delight, full of energy and looked radiant on stage with her red lips and long tresses. The crowd was hype, excited and ready to see some “dark chocolate” well, at least the ladies in the room.

First up, “a Dude from Angie, Louisiana”, who none of the crowd seemed to know and whose name I forget. My husband and I thought “where in the hell is Bobby V”, who was supposed to be the opening act. Well, God bless his soul for trying. I won’t knock his hustle, but with that being said, one has to have talent in order to make it in the music industry, right. Well maybe not, I could name names but that’s not my style. Besides, Mama always said, if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. “Keep your day job, bruh”, is all I will say though!

After “the Dude from Angie” caused all of us a slight headache, we have a group called “Recognition”. Wait, wouldn’t it be expected to at least have some, with a name such as that? Their microphones were too damn loud, one sounded like a wounded goat and the other one looked like he was missing meals, pants falling off his ass. They were running around the stage, looking lost. And the texting started. Yeah, my sister, brother, cousin, husband and I began texting our “WTF’s” “Are you kidding ME’s” “This is wack” and many other jabs at these poor, trying souls. I guess after seeing Sade, John Legend, Prince and several other musical geniuses, you become spoiled with expectations that all concerts will be as theirs. But doesn’t being a great performer have a lot to do with it too? Well, if so…”Recognition” is in BIG TROUBLE, but I will give them a “C” for coming out on stage.

They sucked, with the exception of their first song, which wasn’t their song at all. Thanks to Jay-Z and Kanye for making such a great, get-you-up-out-of-your-seat-song. (…ball so hard Muthafuckas wanna fine me but they can’t find me… that shit Cray) It’s my jam! (What she order? fish-fillet) Love that song! Anyway, as they continued, they decided to bring two ladies from the audience up on stage. Thinking, “Okay here we go, maybe they getting comfortable on stage and about to really put on a show for us” I was disappointed yet again.  Everyone in the crowd probably was thinking the same thing, “they about to give the girls a lap dance”, well, let’s just say, we were all fooled. “Recognition” took the seats and it was understood then what they wanted to receive from the two chosen ladies. The saddest thing I ever saw! One of the girls was shy and didn’t even attempt to move. She looked scared as hell and even had a friend come up on stage to defend her, I guess. The other girl, who we thought was a first-lady, with the church-hat she had on, gave her all. She did do something. She wasn’t that bad! *claps*   

After then, a DJ from New York City took to the stage and showed his ass playing our very own New Orleans bounce music. I woman whose name we learned was Ethel, got up on stage and gave us some much needed entertainment. She was awesome, dancing all the different moves, to each song and then some. At one point, she bent over and her ass-crack said “hello”! LaTangela had to tell her to stop and go back to her seat. She wasn’t shy in the least, but an entertainer I must say. I even got up on my feet and danced, reminiscing of my high school and college days, where I stayed on the dance floor, shaking my ass. (If any of you guys are from ‘the boot’ as we refer to our home state Louisiana, you know what I’m talking about) There is nothing like bounce music! It really gets the blood running to the hips. I can hear them now (You a fine Muthafucka want you back that ass up…) (pump the pump the party) (I need a hot girl, whatcha need boy), along with several other hits.

Shout out to the Hot Boyz, Master P, Mystikal, Juvenile, Bustdown, and DJ Jubilee. (Back in the day jams) What ya’ll know bout that “T. Tucker”? Memories, memories, memories!  Yes, I love to dance and with age, that fact remains the same. I love to dance! I hate that I don’t remember the DJ’s name because he was a highlight to the then dreadful event. If anyone who was at the concert remembers, please let me know. (We no limit soldiers, I thought I told ya…) And for those of you who are clueless to Louisiana artists, let me just say two words “Lil Wayne”. Shout out to Young Money! Let me stop and move on.

Following the DJ and Ethel’s performance, Big Sexy, a comedian from Baton Rouge, lit up the stage even more. Entering the stage, he paused while the music played and he too commenced to dancing, popping his crotch, “P-popping” if you will. He was funny, entertaining, full of life, and a blast. Taking us back down memory lane, with songs that still get us going, always hits in our minds. The crowd sang along and the evening began to shine. Big Sexy danced for us, made us laugh but most importantly, helped us forget about “the Dude from Angie” and “Recognition” not getting much recognition at all. As I said, some people are born entertainers and some are not!

Now, I don’t know what happened to cause Bobby V. not to perform, but I hope that he is okay. He was supposed to be there and wasn’t. What happened? Anyone knows? Please share! Anyway, the person who became his last minute replacement was Case, yes, the Case we all know and loved during our college years, if you are now in your thirties. Even though he had his three hit wonders, he was once on his game, topping the charts. He even had Beyonce in one of his videos. (Ya’ll know the one when she walked in the room filled with roses and he proposed marriage.) What’s the song, “Happily Ever After”?

He looked the same, but sounded like a howling animal for the most part. Really, “who in the hell booked Case”? He probably was happy as hell to get that call. When was the last time you heard about Case? I mean really! I won’t knock him for trying, but he has lost his grip. But I do have one thing to say though. If you only have three hits during your career, I am gonna need you to be able to sang the hell out of those three hits each and every time you on the stage, otherwise, don’t look for any more calls. “Happily ever after” was the only song which he remotely came close to doing justice, again I say, almost. I wanted to scream! On top of that, the guy sitting next to me, on my right, my husband sat to my left, breath smelled like horseshit. Yes, and he wanted to sing along with every song he knew from that moment on. Case was funny though. Someone from the audience hollered out “take your shirt off” were he replied “you take your shirt off! The only time my clothes come off is when I’m fucking. Are we fucking?” Yes indeed! Go head Case with your used-to-know-how-to-sing-ass!

My husband sat next to a girl whose dude wanted to wrap his arm around her and rub her arm, only he was rubbing my husband’s arm instead. This is the second concert that we have attended that this happened. I guess next time I will sit in that seat so my hubs won’t get felt up again. Maybe not, I am not that nice and would probably have said something like “excuse me, can you please stop rubbing up and down my damn arm, you don’t know how your girl feel or do you think I’m going home with you after the concert?” Yeah, I can go there if need be. Ol’ boy to my right better thank his lucky stars that I was carrying a little ass purse, because he would have looked down and saw a slice of gum waiting for his ass to chew, for that stank breath. (Help me Baby Jesus!) Okay, moving right along. By then, it was almost ten o’clock. Mind you, the concert started at eight o’clock, right. So we were all nearing our breaking point, ready to see the main event. (Tyrese, Tyrese, Tyrese!!!)

The lights went down, the band started to play. Smoke, red lights and dancers took the stage. The two girls dancing were amazing, by the way! Nice job selecting them Tyrese, because from the way they looked and moved, I’m sure he had a say in the process. The band was grooving, live and in charge. Everyone stood to their feet clapping, screaming, hollering and excited to see the man of the hour. All of the painful attractions from start, washed out of our minds.

Finally, when Tyrese took the stage, the show came to life. He was full of energy, but dressed like he was in Canada. Damn, he was sexy but dressed in all black leather, gloves, hat, boots, dark glasses and all. True, it is technically still winter, but we are in the South. We hardly ever have a cold winter and this winter, we probably have had about a full week well, if that. Needless to say, he looked fine!   

Tyrese was overwhelmed by the massive crowd, because for a few minutes, he just stood there and took it all in. I saw tears in his eyes from my seat. It’s amazing to have fans but having those fans support you by selling out an arena, is truly something special. “Tyrese, we love you in Louisiana, and don’t ever forget it, but there are a few things you could have planned better.” He thanked us all for coming out and buying his albums, going to the movies to see his films and purchasing his book Getting Out of Your Own Way.

The first portion of his show was addressing the audience. Crowd participation was a most and a few hits from his latest album “Open Invitation”. He danced around the stage, grinning from ear-to-ear, showing off his pearly whites. Then he sang “Zodiac” putting on a show by pouring baby oil all over one of his dancers and her dancing all over him, basically giving him a lap dance. (Recognition, take notes) In the process of performing, his dancers slowly undressed him in stages, but he didn’t show off his sexy abs at all. (What a big disappointment for the single ladies in the crowd)

The second portion of the show was him dressed in all white linen, looking very debonair. He sang his hits from other albums and closed the show with singing “Stay” and “Sweet Lady”. The part that I, along with many others, didn’t like was the fact that he (Tyrese) said if CDs were purchased, he would personally sign and take photos with each one who did. I didn’t stand in line, but my sister and her best friend did. My brother and cousin stood in line with them, and were rudely asked to get out by security.

Now, my brother is 6’5” tall and about 250lbs. My cousin is 6’3” tall but smaller than my brother, but they are tall, respectful dudes, who don’t like trouble. When security saw that they weren’t about to be punked by them, they kindly left them alone. I few people saw and asked them what happened. The security dudes were trying too hard to show just how “HARD” or “IN CHARGE” they were. It really doesn’t take all the disrespect or being rude to people for no reason at all. And their ass would probably be scared as hell if something really had gone down. Word of advice, someone doing their job the way it’s supposed to be done in the first place, won’t have to overcompensate doing so. (Wouldn’t you agree?) They were just rude and not just to my family, but others as well. Many people got out of the line.

My sister was so excited about attending the concert and meeting him because she has loved Tyrese since seeing him sing sitting on that bus in the McDonald’s commercial. She made sure she made the perfect outfit, bad ass shoes, hair done…nails did…everything done she was “fancy”, huh! Yeah, corny I know, but laughter cleanses the soul, so laugh. Why was it a big deal that men were in the line, especially if they were standing with their girlfriends, wives, sisters, cousins, best friends, or in some cases, Mamas?

Tyrese walked out looking straight ahead, took a seat behind a table and then waved briefly at the long line wanting to meet him. He almost looked afraid. He even told his “people” to make a few people leave stating that they were taking free pictures of him. Didn’t they buy tickets to the damn concert? If you ask me, he could have walked the line, with his bodyguards/security first, shaking hands before taking his seat. That could have possibly savaged what happened next.

Now, the fans are the ones who make a difference in your career, so was it too much to ask to stand next to him taking the photo or actually seeing him sign their album covers? Well, that didn’t happen. Everyone in the line had to give their cd covers to someone who “supposedly” headed it to Tyrese to sign, and then when it was time for pictures, you had to lean across a table to have your picture taken. Once this was over, nope, there wasn’t an actual picture, you were given a website to go to and download your photo. “Who does that?”

Although we still love Tyrese, we felt that we should have been treated better. With the way the economy is going, paying money for a ticket, standing in long-ass lines to meet him and then buying another cd to be signed is a big deal. It’s a choice of leisure not necessity. I was disappointed that there weren’t any t-shirts for purchase. It’s just one of my personal preferences when it comes to concerts or seeing the people I support. I always have to buy a shirt from the concerts I attend, just for remembrance. Not this time, sadly! Man, I just knew I would be sporting an “open invitation tour” t-shirt, putting it on instagram and twitter.  :’-)

We don’t know if he was tired, rushed or in need of a little TLC, but it wasn’t fair to fans to be treated as such. You see other stars, entertainers, and celebrities, embrace their fans, take photos with them, and even shake hands, I see it every year during Essence Music Festival and other events attended. But none of this happened except for the people sitting in the VIP section, and even they were advised by security not to touch too much. Well, at least one must not have heard or understood, because she touched more than what she should have been allowed to touch. (Yeah, she can share with anyone she pleases just how well or not endowed “Mr. Gibson” really is!)

They were also told by Tyrese himself that their energy wasn’t up to par, calling down others from in the stands, because of filming a DVD, which the lovely city of Baton Rouge shall appear. I guess we should be thankful for that, huh! I hope that the remainder of the tour is better for fans, because if not, sadly, the next time our sexy star comes to town, a few will be deterred from attending. But to my surprise, I saw that Tyrese tweeted that that night was the best night of his life, due to all the love he received from Baton Rouge. See, even when treated unfairly, we still show our love! That should count for something.

Treat your fans or the people who support you as you would want to be treated by someone you support. Think about how you would feel. Don’t lose fans and supporters because of the actions of your staff or of your own. After all, you, as the Headliner, are in charge! You have the final say! As Tyrese said during more than one time on stage, “Imma grown ass man and I do what the fuck I wanna do!” Act like it!!!

All-in-all, this was a very insightful and humbling experience. I did enjoy being with my husband and family. Regardless of any situation, we always find ways to make the best out of it and laugh. We will be laughing from this night for many years to come. It also allowed me to see that even people, who appear on the big screen, sell out concerts and make music videos, have flaws. We are all only human! Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be a better you!

Keke Chanel

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Friday, March 16, 2012


Have you ever known anyone who never has anything positive to say? They complain about everything, even themselves. Whenever you see or talk to them, they suck the life out of you. You know that if you having a bad day, they are not the one to call. It's sad how much time and energy is wasted dwelling on negativity when in fact, you are surrounded by multitudes of blessings. Start fresh if you are one of those people. Make today the time you turn over a new leaf. What's there to lose?

Instead of complaining about money or being broke, look around at what you have and smile. Someone isn't so blessed at the moment. Instead of trying to get even with someone who pissed you off, thank them for only making you tougher...stronger! Instead of looking at all the flaws in others, turn around and look in the mirror. We are all flawed in some way or another, embrace them and see how beautiful of a person you become. Tell your children just how much you are proud of them. After all, they are a gift so treat them as such. You will be surprised at how closer, how much respectful, and how fun your relationship grows. Go out on a limb, think outside the box, take risks, and stop making excuses. Your success begins with the second letter in the word "U".

I wrote this today with a heavy heart but giving spirit. I don't know who was supposed to read this or maybe it was also for me, but IT WILL BE OKAY!!! Don't worry about things you have no control over. Don't focus wasted time and energy with things you shouldn't be. Smile, laugh, live! Life is now, focus on tomorrow when/if it comes. The power belongs to you. Take time out of your day to pray, meditate or simply sit and relax for 5-10 minutes. You will feel so much better, I promise. When we always doing for others and neglect ourselves, we slowly become lost. Now is the time to find yourself. Hold on and never let go again. If you don't love yourself, how do you expect others to? Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be a better you today than what you were on yesterday. I dare you!!!

Keke Chanel

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


It saddens me when I see lifelong relationships but even that long, but two people who have been friends a long time, especially between women, turn into hate due to jealousy, envy, pride or lack of communication. Take Evelyn and Jennifer from Basketball Wives. Now their situation is simple, “TALK TO EACH OTHER”. They should sit down face-to-face, without anyone or cameras and really figure out what’s wrong or where did their relationship really go downhill. I refuse to believe that it’s all because of a man. Not those two, but you never can tell. We also have Melanie and Tasha Mack from The Game, even though their characters are scripted, we still love them being friends. I know people grow apart but should we turn on each other, going in for the kill, by hitting below the belt like Sheree did Nene on Real Housewives of Atlanta? Can you say messy, lowdown and dirty! Should all the dirty laundry, which we probably had in the clothes basket, be brought to light just because one person couldn’t put aside their pride and just reach out to the other?

Men may have their differences, ups and downs, but they hash it out and move on. By the end of the day they are boys again and chasing women or whatever else they decide to do. They may play an aggressive game of basketball, football, pool, go to the gym or any other competitive sport and when it’s all said and done, all is well. They simply pound fists and say “that’s my nigga” or “dude, did you see the rack on that chick”. No grudges are held, no trying to turn everyone else against the other. They simply act as adults or mature about the situation at hand. Men are different than women when it comes to friendships. We hold on to shit and store in our mental portfolio for the right time to strike and draw blood if need be. You would think that seeing someone down we would back off, but that is exactly when we put our foot on their back, right.

But, there are just some BITCHES who cannot be trusted. These types of individuals will smile in your face and as soon as your turn your back half-way they drag your name through the mud. They pretend to be your friend when in fact they are a frienemie (a friend who is really an enemy and always has been and will be). No matter how hard you try to truly be a friend to them, they will always stab you in the back. These same BITCHES will hook you up with a guy all the while sleeping with him. They will stand as your Maid of Honor in your wedding and cheat with your husband just the same. Some will ever see him with another woman and pretend as if she didn’t know once you find out. Yes, I know several who fit the profile and sadly, so do you. It’s sad but true! They pretend to be there for you in the time of need but as soon as you tell them your business they run and broadcast it all over like the six o’clock news.

We also have these women who smile each time you see them although you don’t know them. We always seem to know exactly where you will be and show up. Each time, they have another friend with them and periodically you glance in their direction and all eyes are on you. Just when you want to ask the question, they disappear leaving you wondering. Then months later, you learn that one of them BITCHES, the very one who always spoke, smiled and even complimented you on your shoes, is having your husband’s baby. She then changes into an irritation in your ass. She somehow gets ahold of your cell or house number and starts calling sharing information against your husband so that you can push him straight out your front door into her waiting arms. Yeah! This world is full of scandalous people, women being the most.

I know people who have gotten sonograms sent to their home with a letter saying “make sure you tell your husband that his son is on the way” or send a text message to your cell phone saying “tell your man his baby need some pampers” when it’s your birthday. These are some trifling women or what I like to call them “BITCHES YOU CAN’T TRUST”! It doesn’t make any sense doing all of this stuff just to show they exist. It won’t make the man want them more, if anything, he doesn’t want anything else to do with their silly asses. And if you have been in a situation where he did leave, thank your lucky stars because you didn’t need his ass in the first place. Good riddance! Kick rocks! Deuces!

True friends are hard to come by. We are blessed to have one, more blessed to have two. I see young girls with low self-esteem because they want the whore of the school to like them. They pretend, slip class, stop doing their schoolwork, trying to fit in and get her attention. Some as she befriends that innocent girl, she plots a plan against her. She shows her how to wear her hair, makeup or tight clothing to catch attention from the opposite sex. She pressures her into giving away her innocence, something she was saving for the man she wants to marry. But it doesn’t stop there. The same girl, the popular chick, who sleeps around, that pretends to be your friend, goes to school the Monday after the party you slept with the captain of the football team, and tells it all. In the world we live in today, she even has it on video. Your good girl reputation is shattered all because you wanted to fit in or trusted someone you shouldn’t have.  

Yes, my friends, these things happen every day we live. So, before you call anyone “friend” using the word lightly, really look beyond looks, personality, intelligence, or lack thereof and really identify with their spirit. Kindred spirits are hard to come by, but when you do, you will know that you have a friend for life, through thick and thin, no matter what. Until you find this person, stop dealing with BITCHES you cannot trust. If you already have this friend, cherish your friendship. If something happens that causes strain between you, don’t just let it go. Talk about it, work it out. It’s not worth losing a lasting friendship due to pride or anything else for that matter. There will always be she-devils lurking around each corner trying to get their claws into you, be wise, observant and not too quick to trust people. Ask questions, get to know them for who they truly are and then tell those BITCHES to kiss your ass!

The world would be a much better place if we could rid it from all the BITCHES! And ya’ll, please don’t be offended by my word choice. This word is merely a term of endearment in most cases, but this isn’t one of them. (LOL) We all have that one friend that we can call Bitch, my Hoe, slut or any other slang, but you and she know that it is simply because of the level of friendship you have. You will know otherwise, trust me. Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know some are probably saying that word is so offensive or that I bet she wouldn’t like it if a man called her a Bitch or Whore. Well, stop thinking simple-minded! Women have been labeled as such for so long, that if we didn’t find humor or solace in the words men call us. Hell, none of us would have self-esteem or know our self-worth. Be your own person. Don’t allow others to dictate your emotions. Know that a man who calls a woman, his woman a bitch and mean it in a derogatory way, is a coward and not worth your damn time.

So, stop getting offended by the word and lick your wounds. It takes tough skin to make it in this male dominated world we live in. Like the song says, “Don’t take it personal, get the bitter with the sweet, easy come and easy go”, make that your theme song. As Beyonce said, “Girls Run the World” although some of you may not know it, and if you don’t know, I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s called “P-U-S-S-Y”

Yes, I did it and not ashamed in the least. Anyway, that’s an entirely different topic! (I’m just saying!) So until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be YOU! Don’t let any more people define who you are because one day you just may believe them.

Keke Chanel

Monday, March 12, 2012

Guns At School

"What’s wrong with our children?”

This has been going on for years now, but just recently the topic has been making the headlines of news more frequently. There have also been a few television shows focusing on this particular subject just to get the word out and keep parents aware that this can happen. Children bringing guns to school and having a shootout, is more serious than ever. We all remember the Columbine high tragedy, where thirteen kids were targeted that day, their lives ended by the simple pull of a trigger. It all stemmed from acts of bullying or unkindness, where two kids felt this was their only way of vindication. A few weeks ago the same thing happened at a high school in Ohio leaving one dead and several injured. Does being bullied at school justify such behavior? Is it fair to the children who go to school, treat everyone equal and want to get a proper education? Some of those same children had their lives taken from them in a blind of an eye. These are tragic events, but they should be addressed so that the cycle is broken and our children feel like their voice is being heard.  

My child attends a great high school in our area but a few days ago it was brought to the attention of school officials that someone was upset and would take out their actions on the people who caused their pain, by bringing a gun to school, fighting or basically any means necessary. In times like these, I thank God for social media. If the incident hadn’t been put on Facebook, would we have gotten wind of it? Would we have gotten a frantic call from our children, hiding out in a closet or empty classroom listening to the screams and hollers of fellow classmates, being ambushed, shot and killed? We will probably never know for sure but I, along with many concerned parents, decided that we would keep our children home the following day or planned day of retiliation. Having them stay home assured us that they would be okay.

My heart goes out to the children ridiculed or bullied, treated like an outcast, but if those things are happening, tell someone! Speak up and speak out about it instead of just holding it all inside or finding other ways to handle the situation. We hear of too many kids who commit suicide for this very reason. No parent wants to receive that news, or find their child hanging from their bedroom closet door, laid out amidst a bottle of empty pills or a seeing brain matter all over the wall from their child sticking a gun down his/her throat. Pay attention to your children. Know their behavior and when it suddenly changes. There is always a reason behind new behavior. Talk to your children. Let them know that you are always in their corner, no matter what. I have a problem with parents who don’t have a line of communication with their children. If a child feels too afraid, ashamed or intimidated by their parents that they cannot come to them when they need to most is a sad situation. Will this type of behavior ever seize to exist?

Stop trying to be friends with your children and be parents first. They will thank you for it later. They will respect you more and when they have children of their own, they will follow your parenting skills. This will ultimately break the cycle of bullying and school shootings. More kids will care about getting an education instead of going to school to do other than that. Don’t ignore all the warning signs because whether we want to believe it or not, there will always be warning signs. And if you see that your child is the one bullying others, sat down and talk to them about it. Let them know that that type of behavior is wrong, unacceptable and simply will not happen. Know the people your children talk to and hang out with. It’s not being nosy, overprotected, or too strict. It’s called “being a damn parent”! Discipline starts at home! The bible clearly states, “Spare the rod, spoil the child”, it shows love. More times than not, a firm raise of the voice will get them together, so spanking isn’t always the only option. And stop making excuses for them. Teach them early on that bad actions will have consequences. Set the rules and stick to them. As they get older, set higher expectations with even more consequences if need be. Let’s stop this vicious act of cruelty from going any further than it already has. Let’s keep all of our children innocent and safe as long as we can. It’s our duty to do so as parents.

Stop making excuses for bad behavior. And if you observe and come to a conclusion that there is definitely something going on with your child and you cannot determine a solution, get help. There is always someone there to listen. Don’t become an enabler. This will only lead them to two places: jail or the grave. I’m just being real about this because this is a serious matter, that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Our children are our future, treat them as such!

Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be a better you!

Keke Chanel

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Thursday, March 8, 2012


Christianity is a touchy subject, but being a Christian, I can talk freely and openly about it and what bothers me when it comes to people who think that they are much more. Being a Christian doesn’t mean that life stops or you have to live in a box, but there are some people to think such nonsense. In my opinion, there are people who go to church for two reasons: 1) to listen, learn and receive the word of God, live right, and 2) to be seen, to judge, criticize, and look down on people who are trying to do better in their lives. But there are people who supersede these two kinds of people called “church folk”. These are the people who think that just because others don’t have a certain type of job, drive a certain type of vehicle, dress a certain way, or is on a first name basis with the Pastor and First Lady that we are beneath them and are going straight to hell. We all know people who fit this particular category. They only use the word of God when it’s to justify something they are doing, even if it is wrong. These are the same people who have reserved seating in the church, arrive late on purpose because they know they won’t have to stand up like we would, not even say “hello” when entering the church and ultimately think that they are better than anyone else. These types of people like to boast about how much tithes/offering they put into the collection plate, in fact, they walk their envelope to the front of the church themselves. What is my ten or twenty dollars, even five, not enough in the eyes of God? Depending of the church and/or Pastor, “church folk” can even dictate and chose the sermons the preacher should preach about. For those of you who don’t think this sort of thing is true well sorry to tell you that it does. Very much so! This type of behavior goes on and has been going on for ages, and the sad part about it is that the ones guilty of such, don’t even realize it or could care less. As long as they think they have it all together, they believe that there spot in the kingdom is “reserved”.

A friend of mine and I were having lunch the other day and this topic came up briefly. She told me that growing up another friend’s mother, who just so happens to be a “First Lady” told her that, “God don’t hear prayers from a sinner, so she was wasting her breath praying”. I’m glad that she didn’t buy into this nonsense or even give it a second thought. Who would tell someone something so wrong and discouraging? “Church folk” that’s who. If sinners cannot pray for help, guidance and deliverance, how will we be saved? I say we because we all sin and fall short each and every day we live. I know that God isn’t pleased with the way some of his people are treating and acting towards others. Just look at all the men and women of the cloth who are being exposed. I won’t go into detail about it, but you know the stories, see and hear about them on the news and in the newspapers. So, now that they have fallen due to temptation on the flesh, will God not hear their prayers or does that only pertain to you and me?  

You know what bothers me the most? It’s those same “church folk” who turn their noses up at someone who is genuinely trying to serve and please God. It’s those same people who go out, get drunk, do drugs, have sex outside of marriage, commit adultery, curse someone out for cutting them off in traffic, who then on Sunday and Wednesday, sing on the praise team, serve on the Usher board, who is a Deacon or Missionary, ministering to others. Now there is no greater sin than another. A sin is a sin is a sin! Don’t be hypocrites! No one is perfect. The only perfect person to walk this earth, died for our sins so that we could have everlasting life in the kingdom of Heaven. It’s not right to treat someone like an outcast just because they are not in the same tax bracket as you. It’s not right to look down on someone who go to the front of the church for prayer when the preacher does an alter call. Go hold their hand. Give them a shoulder to lean on. Lend a listening ear, so that they will know that they are not alone. Many people refuse to attend church for these various reasons. Think about it, if you cannot go into the one place you should be able to and feel accepted, welcomed and encouraged, then why bother? Where can you go?

It’s really time to stop judging others and get ourselves together. “He who is without sin cast the first stone!” No one is without sin. No, we don’t go looking for it or intentionally do it, but sin is around us every day, all day. You may eat too much, envy what someone else has, lust after a nice looking man/woman, those are all considered sin. “Church Folk” will talk about you amongst each other; even go to the Pastor about something they don’t even know about, concerning you. The bible states that if you take offense to something/someone, go to that person and try to work it out. No, for “church folk” that just won’t do! They love drama, disorderly conduct and seeing someone who is trying their best to live according to the word of God being looked at as someone who is not. Now as long as you are feeding them with your business, gossip about the next person, or kissing their asses, yes I said it, they will be your best friend. You may even get to seat in the assigned section at the front of the church until you do something to piss them off.

Take a single mother for instance. They welcome her with open arms at first until she isn’t willing to tell all of her business to them. When she doesn’t cooperate by telling her personal business, they go straight after the children. She is then looked at as a slut, whore, tramp, or any other statistic they can categorize her into. Who cares that she was married, cheated on, abused and lost everything just to protect her children? Who cares that she is now getting back on her feet and seeking the church for her restoration? “Church Folk” only see and hear what they want to. Instead of helping, they only add fuel to the fire. And when the single mother gets tired of the stares, whispering and decides it’s time to move on, they feel as if they were right all along and that she didn’t have a place in their church anyway. They feel as if all the things they assumed about her, or words twisted from questioning her children, that their prejudgment of her was true.   

What about the single Pastor of the church, who is teaching, preaching, living and respecting the word of God? As soon as a single woman of his flock needs counseling, he is sleeping with her. If he is not interested in her, she slaughters his name because of rejection. When the woman he wants to be with comes along, she becomes the target of hatred among the other women who wanted to be the one. It’s sad, but true! The same “church folk” who praised him, cooked for him, paid his bills, and made sure that the building fund was over its goal quickly becomes the enemy. He is then looked at as a sinner, sleeping with all the women in the church. He becomes all about money, and soon the members start dropping like pigeon poop. You are probably shaking your head at this very moment because either you know someone who has gone through this or you are one of the people who played a part in something like this happening.

Recently, I attended a conference at a church that I have been visiting on and off for about a few years now. I love the word received there and the praise and worship is inspiring. The leader and his wife seem to be great doers and followers of the word of God. How many of you have stopped attending a certain church because the members were so rude? Well, I have! The members, well not all but most are just unfriendly and mean. I know that we shouldn’t allow anyone to dictate where we attend to worship, but it’s hard to receive the word if you getting stares from the same usher that turned her nose up at you when you only gave her a friendly smile or because you stood up singing along with the praise team, feeling the presence of God wash over you. Sadly, it happens!

We couldn’t even get up to go the restroom without being questioned or told that our seats may be taken if we were gone too long. (Who does that?)Now throughout the church there were several sections of empty seats. No one was allowed to sit in those seats. If anyone sat there, they were asked, sometimes rudely to get up. They were being RESERVED for the people of their choice. I was asked to hold my three year son, which I didn’t mind, so make room for an elderly woman. But, is it fair that people who come to church on time be punished by standing up, when there is reserved seating for people who don’t come to church until the pastor gets up to speak? I listened to the women seating behind me talk about how ridiculous it was and how badly they were treated the night before. This type of behavior will discourage visitors from coming back. Ya’ll, I literary saw late comers being walked down the front aisles, to a roped off section like it was a concert and they paid full price for their tickets. Has the house of God become this superficial?

I don’t know what will happen, but I do know that God is not pleased with all the heartless things taking place in the church. I almost didn’t write this post in fear that someone would be offended by it, but you know what? So be it! If they are participating in this type of behavior, they should be offended. We were all created in the image of God; therefore, we are all equal in his eyes. Just because we don’t know or hang in the same circles, it doesn’t mean that we are less than one another. Don’t become labeled as “church folk”. If you see someone struggling, help them as best you know how. Pray for them, pray with them. Don’t put down on others because you have been blessed and are too stupid to know that you have been. Just like you drive a luxury car, live in a big house and can afford to eat out every day, it can all be wiped away in a matter of seconds. If you see something going on that isn’t pleasing in the eyes of God, politely go to whoever it is and talk with them not to them or down on them. They may not even be aware of their behavior. You will be surprised at how people accept something coming from you by the way you approach them. We all need to walk in love, not stupidity because there is definitely a difference. God didn’t say to let others trampled all over you. Show compassion and love toward each other in a respectable way. Stop hating and backbiting, judging, ridiculing, thinking that you are better than the next person. Trust me! You will eventually reap what you sow, so why not reap the best! Don’t allow “church folk” to cause you to turn away from God. Pray for them and keep living according to the word of God. Remember that God sees and knows all things! They are only keeping themselves further from the kingdom by displaying this type of behavior, only they don’t know it yet. The battle isn’t yours anyway, don’t try to fight it. There will be more “church folk” than a little bit in hell eating bar-b-que with the devil. Don’t become one of them! Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be a better YOU!!!

Keke Chanel

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Tuesday, March 6, 2012


“Bag Ladies: How many (BAGS) are you carrying?”

We as women love jewelry, clothes and shoes, but nothing compares to a handbag. It gives us confidence, sophistication, status, style, elegance, poise and to many, the more expensive the bag is, the more important we tend to feel. I, myself, love large bags, in fact, the bigger the better. They hold all the things we need and all the things that we think we may need, even the things that we don’t. Consequently, the more we can stuff into a bag, the more it weighs on our shoulder, causing severe pain. And instead of taking out all the things that we don’t need, we switch shoulders, take a deep breath and continue on carrying our beautiful bag from place to place, smiling as if we have everything all under control. We forget that it doesn’t matter the size of the bag at all. The smallest of bags hold things that we may or may not need. The only difference is that the smaller bag tends to weigh less, so we don’t experience any signs of pain at the moment. But as time passes on, it too can become severe, unbearable, and sometimes life threatening. In secret, bags are a way to hide or shield things we don’t want others to know about or see. Many people, women especially, bring all the bags from throughout life, everywhere we go, starting a massive collection, ultimately sabotaging our futures.

“Bag Lady, you gon hurt your back dragging all dem bags like dat,” Erykah Badu said it all when she wrote those lyrics to that amazing song. It’s about a woman who cannot move forward because she cannot let go of her past (baggage). Bringing and holding on to old shit will eventually lead you down the same path when it comes to moving in a new direction…new path…new journey. Baggage, according to Webster’s definition is stated as: things that encumber one’s freedom, progress, development, or adaptability; impediments. “You can’t hurry up cause you got too much stuff”! Life is like the bags we see and carry. If we are not careful, we can keep and open ourselves up to a lifetime of regret, shoulda-woulda-coulda’s, what ifs, and other clich├ęs.

Some women love baggage. They strive off it. They don’t know when or how to let go and just buy a brand new bag or accept another bag as a gift from someone who just wants to see her happy in her life. No, they continue to carry the old, beat down, knock-off that was given to her by the last person she was with, when they probably didn’t even pay for it. It’s filled with pain, heartache, insecurity, vulnerability, low self-esteem, ugliness, and bitterness. Those components have been constantly weighing her down, beating her day after day to think that she doesn’t deserve a beautiful, new, DESIGNER bag instead. She doesn’t let anyone in, in fear that they will do the same thing as the last. And when she does decide to try out a new bag, she compares it to the last with every detail, tries to stuff all of her issues she carried in the old one into the new one eventually causing it to break. It’s okay to let others take the load off of you. As footprints in the sand reveals only one set of prints, we have to know that God carries us when we get tired, so it’s normal to let someone in who genuinely wants to help. We all need someone in our lives at some point in time.

“I guess nobody ever told you all you must hold onto is you, is you…” True, we all need to take care of ourselves, but it’s always nice to let someone take care of you for a change. We as women need to learn how to submit. Hold on, I know some of you are like “whatever” “hell nawl” “not me” well I am not talking about losing yourself. I’m talking about submitting to the person/people who love you. If you have someone in your life who wants to love, cherish, adore, and be there for you just let them. Don’t be too proud to allow someone to see you vulnerable. Allow them to take your bag off your shoulder, give you a much needed back rub, and take all your cares away. Allow them to pamper you. Allow them the chance to express and show actions behind saying that they love and would do anything for you. It’s okay! Allow that bag to rest so that you can heal. You don’t want your shoulders to slump, causing more problems than you care to deal it.       

“One day all dem bags gon get in your way!” This statement reigns true in too many ways to count or mention. We have some women who carry so much baggage that she neglects having time for anything or anyone other than herself. She does her own thing to prove something to others looking in from the outside, when in fact she is really just trying to prove something to herself. She shops excessively letting her bills go unpaid to keep up appearances. She only has about twenty dollars to her name, waiting for her next paycheck, but sees her girlfriend with a new bag, so she has to have it too. Lying and deceit becomes her best friends, coaching her into finding ways to manipulate others into giving her what she wants. She holds on to all the terrible things she went through as a child, in a previous relationship, life in general, blaming everyone but herself. We have to learn to forgive, forget and move forward otherwise, we will continue to stay idle. She misses out of a good man, having a loving family and no one wants to be in her company because of her conniving ways. The people she tries to impress still look down on her because they can see straight through her tactics. Little does she know the only person who will get hurt from this process is she! She needs to stop getting in her own way. If she only knew that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, she wouldn’t care what others said or thought about her. Besides, when you are making “Coach” money, you shouldn’t try to buy Gucci, Louis Vuitton, or Prada. Don’t overextend yourself to impress people who could care less. When you get evicted, car repossessed, those same people will be there laughing in your face because you still walking around carrying your pretty bag. It’s just not worth it!

“Bag Lady you gon miss your bus you can’t hurry up cause you got too much stuff, when they see you coming Niggas take-off running from you, oh yes they do…” This type of woman carries old shit into her new, causing more harm than good. She cannot seem to let go of the last man who hurt her or did her so wrong and when she does find another who wants to truly be with her, she pushes him away because of her baggage. Ladies, no man in his right mind will just allow you to carry the same old ugly, ruggedly bag, stuffed with so much junk with you when the two of you are going anywhere. First of all, it clashes with everything. Nothing you put on matches it. The trail of negativity it gives off becomes too much for him to deal with. If he sees potential in the relationship, he may go out and purchase a new bag for you, but as I said earlier, we tend to stuff all the old stuff from the other into the new, causing it to overflow or break. When he wants to communicate about what happened, you automatically get defensive, thinking he is trying to get all up in your business or try to tell you how to live your life. Sadly, I know many women who have fail victim to “bag abuse”. Yes, “bag abuse”. It’s when you have gone through pain at some point in your life but refuses to move forward carrying baggage from relationship to relationship, eventually sabotaging them all. A man doesn’t want a needy woman, who compares him to her ex, nags, neglects and constantly puts down on him and herself. “That shit is for the birds!” Fly away as far as you can. (Hey, I’m just saying! You wouldn’t want to hear his ass talking about the last woman he was with.) Stop fooling yourself into thinking that you would…

“One day he gon say, you crowding my space, so pack light.” A woman who carries so much baggage that she don’t even know she carrying it, a woman who is married but refuses to act as such. She doesn’t respect or even acknowledge her husband. She prefers to shop, hang out with her girls instead of being a mother to her children and wife to her husband. The only reason she got married in the first place was because she got pregnant and didn’t want to stay in her mother’s house. A mentality of “I am gonna carry my handbag filled with tons of useless shit, spend your money to buy a new one, fill it with more shit and then do what I please regardless of who it may hurt.” She always looks good, but her children look thrown away, unless she is trying to impress someone she feels who has more than she does, trying to live above her means. She talks to her husband like he is one of her children, and her friends come first. She only wants her husband to carry the bag when she is trying on another one, when he wasn’t the one who bought it in the first place. She doesn’t want him to really know that she has skeletons in that bag from her past and if he found out, she would be left the hell alone. Her bag means more to her than her family, and the first chance she gets, she will leave her family for the next fool who tells her what she want to hear or buys her a beautiful new bag. The sad part is that whether its’ an original or a knockout, she doesn’t know the difference, so the cycle continues.

“You deserve something better…” Now there are many bag ladies in the world, but there are some who carry the load of others instead of her own. The weight of the world around her is on her shoulders, slowly killing her spirit, her soul, her beauty. She just can’t seem to catch a break. The straps on her bag are cutting into her flesh, but she presses on. She knows that a change will come along, and life will get better. She sleeps with her bag under her pillow because the last time she didn’t, she woke up and found that her rent money, bill money, money for her kids’ lunch was gone. The man she thought she married isn’t that man at all; she is living with a stranger in her house. She cries herself to sleep each night after putting her babies to sleep, praying to God that the one and only bag she owns finally falls apart, so that she can get a new one. The harder she tries, the more he takes. She loves her kids with every fiber of her existence and yet, she cannot protect them when she goes to work at job number three, leaving them home with their father. Each day her bag gets heavier, harder to carry. She struggles with herself because deep inside she knows that she has to make a choice to get out while they still can. Because the bag is so much to handle, she stays and becomes another statistic.

“Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go…” We don’t fill our bags enough with goals, ambitions, morals, values and striving to be greatness. Instead we fill them with hatred, envy, greed, bitterness, negativity, judgment, etc. Remember that no one is perfect. Nothing in life is so grand that we have to subject ourselves to pain and heartache. Every bag you see someone else carrying isn’t the right bag for you. Just because it looks pretty, seems to hold all of their stuff, and appears to be painless to carry, doesn’t mean that that is true. You never know what troubles lay inside. Don’t just settle for someone else’s junk, baggage, knockoff. You deserve a one of a kind, custom-made original handbag that fits your style, grace, and personality. Yes, for those who don’t think such a bag exists, well think again because it does. It comes in all shapes and colors. Whether it is a hobo, bucket, backpack or clutch, it’s your choice in which design you chose. Make sure it is empty when you get it and don’t stuff it with things other than the things you need. Don’t settle on style when you bring it home, for in the end, you are the one who will be taking care of it once you make the purchase, and don’t frown upon letting someone buy it for you. Keep it some place so that it can breathe, keep its shape, be admired/showcased, easy accessible when you need it, and although it may become your favorite, you shouldn’t just only carry it around. Buy one for each season, occasion in your life or simply because you can and deserve to reward yourself. Start anew. But more importantly, remember that in changing from bag to bag, all the stuff you have accumulated with each, it has no place in the new. Everything has a place. Some bags can be thrown away. There is nothing wrong with “vintage” but even they too go out of style for a season or two. Treat each bag as you would want to be treated, but don’t let the bag define you! What you put inside, you can also pull out! Nothing is so permanent that change isn’t allowed!  

Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged, be YOU!

Keke Chanel

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Special thanks to Erykah Badu, her album Mama’s Gun and song “Bag Lady” for the lyrics used in this post!!!