ASK KEKE CHANEL

Question: What’s better, the pleasure from sex or having an orgasm?

Denise, in Louisiana

This question can be quite tricky, because we have some people who have sex just to achieve an orgasm, instead of experience the pleasure from it. Those same people really don’t understand the concept of pleasure. First, allow me to give you my definition of pleasure, as well as Webster’s and then move on from there.

My definition of pleasure is as follows: It is the essence of desire fulfilled with the best intimacy known to mankind, intellectual stimulation. It the mind is stimulated correctly, everything else will follow suit and leave you carving more. Pleasure is reaching the ultimately climax, warming your soul, your mind, and leaving your spirit in shock, not just having an orgasm.

Webster’s definition of pleasure: the state or feeling of being pleased; enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one’s liking, gratification, delight, recreation or amusement, diversion, one’s will, desire, or choice.

Now allow me to give you the definition of orgasm:

Webster: the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of sexual excitation, an instance, intense or unrestrained excitement, usually resulting from stimulation of the sexual organ.

My definition: To reach a wave of sensation flowing throughout the body caused by sexual stimulation or fulfillment. Seeing stars, toes curling, bind blowing satisfaction.

There is no right or wrong way to describe what one feels during this stage of intercourse but I think that in order to reach the kind of orgasm that will cause tears to stream down the sides of your face, pleasure has to be involved. Not many women will have orgasms during sex, so I believe that pleasure plays a more important part where sex is concerned. Sure having the “BIG O” is great, but that only lasts a few seconds, an instance. Pleasure goes far and beyond that. Being pleasured requires having a different kind of intimacy with your partner. People go out and have casual sex all the time with the intentions of achieving an orgasm or reaching personal satisfaction.

Think about it, men will more than likely have an orgasm during sex, whereas most women tend to fake it because of the lack of pleasure. If the experience is not pleasurable, how will it be satisfying? My hubby and I had a conversation a few weeks ago about this particular subject and I learned from him that just because the act of sex is taking place, it doesn’t mean that it is pleasurable. He said that the more the partner is into it, the better the experience will be. I never looked at it from a male’s perspective until that moment. So, to answer the question what’s better the pleasure from sex or having an orgasm, for me it’s the pleasure from sex. If the orgasm happens it happens, but the pleasure always makes the entire act ten times better. I would rather have pleasure with intimacy, than sex with an orgasm, without pleasure, any given day. But if we are lucky to receive both the pleasure along with the orgasm, that is even better!

Not every sexual encounter will be the same. Who wants it to be? That can/will get pretty boring after a while. So, make the best out of each experience. And if you have a partner who aims to make sure you receive pleasure, as well as a “happy ending”, count your lucky stars, you have hit the jackpot. All I can say to that one is, “Cha-ching!!” LOL

And remember that it takes an unselfish lover to truly please his/her partner. Selfish lovers get left the hell alone, sleeping in cold beds, having wet dreams! Don’t sell yourself short, there is someone out there who will give you pleasure, with intimacy, achieving indescribable orgasm(s). And to be blunt for a minute, sex without pleasure is simply “FUCKING”!!

Let me know your thoughts on this topic. Feel free to leave your comments in the comment box below.

I look forward to hearing from you. Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged, and be YOU!!!

Smooches,

Keke Chanel

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Thanks,