Monday, May 7, 2012

"Thinking like a MAN..."

“Act like a LADY!!!”

We all have probably seen the movie or read the book by now, so I guess it’s safe to finally speak on the subject. I loved the book and adored the movie, but I don’t think that I am fully in agreement with the concept. I think that if we, as women, start or keep thinking like man, then we eventually lose ourselves. We make all the things our grandmothers taught us about being a lady, respecting ourselves and saving ourselves for marriage, fly straight out the door. If we think that if they can do it so can we, the value of the reason God created us in the first place becomes irrelevant.

What happened to really getting to know someone before jumping right into sex? What happened to opening car doors and pulling out seats? Nowadays most women feel powerless if a man attempts such things. She truly feels helpless, beneath him like “I don’t need you to do that for me because I can do it myself”. True, we all can, but I think we don’t require the things men used to do back then, now. There is nothing wrong with having a man treat you like a lady, not because he feels pressured into doing so but because he wants to and because you deserve that kind of treatment. Think about it, if you have to wait at the car door in order for him to see that he should have opened it long before walking around the side of the car, it’s fake, not genuine. If he walks behind or in front of you instead of on side of you, he is not comfortable seeing seen in public with you. That is a sign that he was more than likely dealing with you and many others at the same time. Looking at other women while he is with you is disrespectful! I don’t care how you look at it. It is a sign of weakness. I man without self-control is like a dog in heat, he will screw anyone who lets him. Don’t accept anything less than what you deserve.

Dating has become too casual. What, after three dates, sex is a given? Now, at the end of a date a goodnight kiss isn’t enough. Sex is expected on both parts. The woman thinks that if she doesn’t do it, he will go on to the next thing and the man thinks he is entitled because he paid for dinner and a movie.

C’mon, this isn’t who God created us to become. Yes, it was Eve who allowed sin to reach all mankind, but as women, we also have to power to control it. “Owe no man but to love him!” Love yourself enough first.

Is it so wrong waiting? We as women have changed the way things work and get mad at men for constantly expecting more from us than they actually deserve. Having one night stands has become an epidemic. Having three or four baby-mama/baby-daddy is the norm, and yet no one seems to think there is a problem. When we take responsibility for our actions, we will change our outlook of life, our situation, and relationships. We will be able to teach our children that waiting in okay. That being a lady is expected and being an even better man than their father is required.  

The movie does show that there are men who love their women unconditionally, but the women don’t love themselves enough to even realize it. Now there is nothing wrong with having standards, but don’t miss out on life, love and living having your head stuck so far up your ass. If you see only dollar signs, a nice car, and a handsome face, what will you see when the money is gone, the car is repossessed and the face is wrinkled? Will that be enough to stay in a relationship that was built on materialistic and superficial things, instead of love?

It’s okay dating, but as a single parent, be careful who you let around your children. I think that waiting a few months is necessary before introducing someone new to the kids. Think about it, do you really know them that well after two weeks to have them around your kids? Use good judgment and trust God first! And remember that men who love their mothers will love and treat you amazing. That doesn’t mean you have to deal with being second, I’m just saying. You wouldn’t want to be with an asshole that treats his mother like crap, or even his sisters for that matter.

Women should be ladies, think like ladies and act like ladies. If we do that, then the men will either get with the program or miss out on the promise. We have the power. How else do families exist? Even if there are too male parents, there was still a woman who birthed the child into existence therefore a family isn’t a family without a WOMAN! Don’t give away your treasure to every man who comes along.  We are way better than that. Just because some men do this, it is still a woman who allows it to happen. Don’t be that woman. It’s really okay to just say “NO”.  

And ladies, if you are blessed with a good man, treat him as such. Don’t play games or try to be his mother. This is the quickest way to pushing him over the edge or into the arms of another woman waiting to treat him like a king. If you don’t know, you better start paying attention or ask someone. Respect requires two things: 1) self-respect and 2) demanding respect by being respectful. These two things are essential in being who you are. Stop requiring nothing and expect everything but make sure you are prepared for a fight. Not too many people will like you for having morals and values for yourself. They will turn their backs on you. They will tell you, you think too highly of yourself. And you will probably lose many people you thought cared and loved you along the way. But the ultimate reward is, at the end of the day you will be looked at differently, like a lady! And contrary to belief, men still want to be with a LADY!!!

Men do what we allow them to do. When we become wise enough to realize this, the world as we know it will change and for the better. Learn yourself! Know yourself! Trust yourself! Respect yourself! Love yourself! Maintaining a positive attitude, energy and relationships is the key, use it to unlock a new you, a new culture, a new society. I dare you to start thinking better of yourself, others will follow suit. Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be YOU!!!

Keke Chanel

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