From: Stacy in Texas
This is a very sensitive question and topic, for that matter. Stacy is about to get married and she has been with her man for three years. It took them a while to become intimate because of things that happened to Stacy in her youth. Her question is: How do you do something for the one you love while hurting yourself in the process?
Well Stacy, I want to first say I’m truly sorry for the things you had to endure growing up. No child should experience such abuse and evil acts committed by adults. Wrong is wrong and please know that you are not to blame for what happened. Even when you couldn’t see it, God had His arms wrapped around you, protecting you. Some children don’t make it out alive but you are one of them who did. Your story is a testimony, so don’t hold your head low in shame or pity. You are beautiful, created in God’s image. But the enemy knows just how to get to us, and usually when we are children, unaware and unable to protect ourselves. That’s why as parents, we have to protect, cover and plead the blood of Jesus over your offspring, so that the enemy know that they are off limits. I can go on and on but let me get back to your question.
Souls, I won’t go into further detail about Stacy and her situation because I am not one to put anyone’s personal business out in the world. If she wanted me to share, she would have given me permission. So, with that being said, let’s move on. Stacy, doing anything that is unhealthy or hurtful to yourself isn’t a good thing no matter how much you truly love someone. The first thing I will say to you is PRAY about the situation, and then communicate with your future husband. If he loves you, he should already know what happened to you. Secondly, if you shared how you truly feel about this particular subject and in its entirety, he shouldn’t want to pressure you into doing something truly painful. And thirdly, if you guys haven’t opened up completely with each other, then maybe the wedding can be pushed back a few months so that the both of you can really discuss whether or not this is something you both can live with or without. I know we all make compromises in relationships, especially when you love someone, but it is obvious to me that you haven’t healed. Have you gone to therapy? Maybe you should start there. Go to a few sessions alone and then involve your fiancée. But always remember to love yourself first, so that you will be able to love someone else completely and genuinely.
I don’t have all the answers and I am no expert by any means. I am merely someone who decided to start a blog and write about different topics we all face in the world. The ASK KEKE CHANEL idea is something new that I decided to do to get to know my readers. Please don’t take my advice as your final conclusion when it comes to your life. Seek God in it, go get proper counseling and more importantly, communicate with the people in your life who matters most. And Stacy, if you ever need to talk just email me and we can do so. I am thankful for people who read my blog like you and all the other individuals who have opened themselves up to me, to share on my blog. Please know that you inspire me and I truly say “Thank You”!!
Stacy, if God has allowed your paths to cross, stay together for three long years, then I know that this is just something to prepare you for a lasting future together. A man that finds a wife finds a good thing that is, if the man isn’t too proud to share himself with someone for more than just a few months. (I won’t go there because we would be here for a long time.) In relationships there are ups and downs, but it is how we handle them, that makes or breaks the bond between us. Stacy, I speak blessings for you and your life. Stay positive and all will work out great!! Until next time, be inspired, be encouraged and be YOU!!!!
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