Friday, August 12, 2011

Let's Talk About Sex (Part 2)

 Making Love

When we find that special someone in our lives, we tend to want to express our love differently with that person. We open ourselves completely, giving our all to make and show them how much they mean to us. We are even more blessed when they feel the same way about us and give themselves as well. Sex is an expression of our attraction of a person but I feel that making love takes that up a notch or two or three as an expression of our love and desire. Our hearts are immersed, our souls are one and our minds just cannot seem to stay off each other. Thinking of that person is all that enters your mind. Whenever you are not together, your heart aches longing to be next to them, hold them, caress them, kiss them and feel the intense passion burning within you. As my last post states, great sex is amazing but the art of making love trumps that like the suit of spades in a card game. Nothing beats that feeling, ever!!!

Making love is like, a cool breeze passing over the ocean at sunset, it captures all of you, leaving you fascinated, intoxicated, lost. It’s like seeing a rainbow peeking out in the sky after a thunderstorm. It’s like smothered chicken, rice and gravy, macaroni and cheese, sweet potato pie. It leaves you floating outside your body, watching life past you by. Making love is like music, soothing to the soul. I can describe it as so many things but you would be reading for hours, so I’ll just stop with those. I get caught up just thinking about it. Once you have experienced what it’s like and with the right person, you can speak openly, boldly, effortlessly about it. You can tell things you usually wouldn’t express yourself through body movements, with all of yourself and not worry about feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

Sharing oneself is not to be taken lightly because let’s face it, heartbreak does occur. But, I would rather experience intense love, mad passion, great sex wrapped all in the art of making love with someone I gave my heart to, who feels the same way about me, than to have given my heart and body to someone simply because it was just something to do or being too afraid to take a chance on love, any day. What is the saying, “it’s better to have loved than to have never loved at all” or something to that effect. If anyone knows the right quote, please post it in the comment box. I don’t like messing up such beautiful words. Being in love is never easy but the reward is worth it. The way your heart flutters. The way your eyes smile. The way you cannot get the silly grin off your face in time when he/she walks into a room, the way when you kiss, it leaves you breathless. The way when you make love for the first time, you want to cry because your soul high-five’s your spirit, while your body cheers victoriously.

Don’t be fooled. There will be obstacles along the way. There will be people who come into your life with bad and good intentions. Some people prey on hurting others, especially when love is concerned. If they think that they can get sex out of it, they try harder, stay longer and then when you open yourself up, give yourself completely, they charm the pants off of you (literally) and leave you asleep to wake up in an empty bed, with the aroma of lust slapping you in the face. Yes, it’s true, we have all probably been there, but don’t allow this to break your spirit, your perception of what love is and push everyone into that category. I was once that person and probably suffered more than anyone else because of it. When I did allow someone else into my life after being alone for a long period of time due to a failed relationship, it turned out to be a big deception. It’s always hard to lose your first love, right.

Allow me to share a little of what happened. We met on the internet. Yes, I know what you are probably saying, first mistake right! I know but it happened by chance, innocently enough. I was online just chatting with a friend and received an instant message. The message was short and sweet. It totally caught me off guard. “Hey Beautiful, your smile instantly grabbed my attention when I saw your profile picture and I just had to say something when I saw that you were online.” Now, who wouldn’t blush from a comment like that? Well, we began chatting that day. After a few days of that, he sent me his cell and phone number, which I found intriguing because most people who are into playing games wouldn’t normally give out their home number. I was impressed and felt special, so I called immediately. We talked for hours, about any and everything. He was great so far, but in the back of my mind I thought that this is too good to be true. I ignored that sign as most of us would have and three months later, we decided it was time to meet.

We went to one of my favorite restaurants, the olive garden. Now looks are not the first thing I look at when I meet a person. He wasn’t the most attractive man, but he smile made my heart go pitter-patter. He had nice eyes and white teeth, which meant he took care of his mouth. I cannot stand seeing someone with jacked up teeth. (Sorry, but it’s the truth!) He greeted me with a hug. It turned out to be a perfect date and the start of many. Anyway, the more I got to know him, the more I wanted to know but still in the back of my mind, the little voice kept saying “be careful”.  Well, to make a long story short, I gave myself to him, thought he felt the same way and almost got the worse scare of my life. He was pure evil. Ya’ll, this dude was playing me so hard, and I still shake my head about some of the things he put me through. How many of you have ever found out that you and another woman was sharing the same damn tooth brush? Now you know that is something to send you to prison for a really long time. I am just glad God stepped in when he did or we wouldn’t be even discussing this topic, on my blog. (I don’t think prisoners have access to the internet like this.)

I can laugh about it now, but that was one of the most horrible experiences in my life. I am no longer ashamed about it because I know that I wasn’t and probably will never be the only one to ever endure such pain. The sad part about it all was that we weren’t the only ones he was playing, in fact, there were too many to count. Sure, there were always signs but we all tend to ignore or justify them when we think this is what we want. He almost ruined me, made me turn away from love, ever having sex or making love again. I didn’t trust anyone for a long time after that. I looked at all men as evil but I had someone in my life who listened as I vented, screamed, yelled and cried. He told me that it would be okay. He helped me more than he probably knows and I will forever be grateful to him for being my best friend. It took some time but I am a better person from that experience. If we encounter and endure hardship and come out growing and learning from it, I call it a testimony, but if we don’t learn or grow and get back into situations like them again and again, I call it stupidity. Besides, what good is a test without a testimony? The two are one.

Be careful, is the moral of my story. Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. They do exist but don’t let this discourage you from giving love a fair chance. One thing I can say is, “always pay attention to the signs” they are always there, so in the end, when things don’t go according to plan or the way we think they should, we won’t be so amazed, caught off guard and quick to blame someone other than ourselves. Yes, making love is a beautiful thing. But doing it with the wrong person isn’t. Your heart, mind, body and soul can be greatly affected, leaving your spirit broken. Besides, you will know when the time is right, when you find the right person, because your heart will confirm it. Life is too short, so enjoy, have fun, live. All things come with time, in reason and will either last a season or a lifetime. A lifetime of happiness is always better than a lifetime of pain and heartache. And remember, make love but war! (Yeah, I know that that sounds corny, but the statement stands true.)

Share your past experiences. You never know how much they can truly help or encourage others. As I wrote in my last post, “Students are always the best Teachers”. I would rather help someone avoid experiencing some of the same things that I have along my journey, than to keep it to myself. Doing such act can leave a lot of great people bitter, hardhearted, selfish and miserable. But most important, don’t hold grudges. Nothing good ever comes from that. The same people who did you wrong are either doing the same to someone else or has finally changed and became a better person. Either way, they have moved on with their lives or you haven’t. That is no way to live. Let it go! Knowledge is power but life experiences are essentially powerful to leading healthy, happy and successful relationships. There is no better teacher than LIFE itself!    

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