Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Let's Talk About Sex(Part 6) "Talking Dirty"

“Talking Dirty” ---Freedom of speech is part of the American Dream why not make it a part of the BEDROOM?

For those of you who are regulars to my blog then you already know that I don’t have a problem with expressing words, thoughts or anything else for that matter when it comes to my writing. If this is your first visit, you may as well prepare your mind right now. You are in for a real treat. I am very open, raw and uncut. Besides, is there any other way to be? I think not. How will you get your point across, let others know what’s on your mind or let your lover know when, what, where and how you like it? If you have “sensitive ears” stop right here, click on the x in the upper right cornerof your computer screen and you won’t have to say “did she just say what I thought she said” or rub your head. It gets that deep. I watched someone reading one of my stories today and she was rubbing her head, scratching her hair and blushing all at the same time. There is nothing wrong with voicing your concern. In fact, I welcome it tremendously. Who in the hell wants to be bothered with a boring ass lover or read a boring story, on a passion blog? Well, I used to be one of those people and quickly realized that that wasn't the live I wanted to have. I look a good look in the mirror and saw the sexy, confident woman staring back me and smiled. A new me or should I say, the real me, was awakened. Being sexual isn't a bad thing per se, but there is always the way in which it is presented to others as well as yourself. If you can't even tell yourself how sexy you are in the mirror, how will you accept a compliment from others or feel sexy in your own skin? I tell myself all the time and there are quite a few days when I don't feel sexy, that is called being normal. There will definitely be times when we just want to stay in bed, with our heads covered, away from everyone. That is when we have to use different methods to bring our sexy back! I personally feel that "talking dirty" is one of those such methods. It opens up a new world, to a new you and ultimately to new things.

How many times have you been with or heard about someone being with a boring, selfish, think they are the bomb, lover? (I am a nineties child, so yes, I said bomb)Did we sympathize or think about our own dreadful experiences. How, I have always been able to spot someone, especially a woman who has had her world rocked the last before, with incredible sex, from an unselifish and incredible lover. Think about it, she is probably very independent, successful, out-spoken and confident. Men, love women like that. Hell, women love women like that. Who wants to babysit someone's ego every day or every time you bother to go there with them? So, what I'm saying is simple, use your mouth and you can feel free to take that anyway you like, to verbalize your likes and dislikes. Come on, at least say to your lover that it feels good or something. Let them know that you are still into it, awake, want to continue or that they are handling their business. That way, at the end of the day or night or whenever you get it on and you are left unfulfilled and mad as hell, you can’t blame anyone but yourself. Been there, done that! Never again in life! I find that “talking dirty” spices up one’s sex life times a million. It feeds something within, bringing out a raging BEAST!!! Try it, I dare you! Hell, if you say the right things to your lover, he/she will put in more effort and do any and every thing to please you even more and vice versa. Pumping up someone's head is always the way to get what you want. It has been done for decades and will never change. If you don't or won't, someone is already standing in line waiting for the right opportunity to do so.

You don’t have to be like a porn star or curse like a Sailor, unless you want to be, but words speak volumes. You never know how the other person will respond unless you just go for it. Who knows, the both of you might love it and create something new, that only the two of you know about. Hell, if walls could talk, I know a lot of us would probably be too ashamed to even leave the house. I would.  Our parents, friends and children would probably look at us in a whole new light and not in a good way. Sometimes I think about some of the stuff I did with my lips and mouth and have to stop and shake it off before kissing my kids. It’s sad but I know I am most certainly not the only one. Mommy and Daddy do play when their little asses are away, asleep or even in the next room. “Talking dirty” is what you make it. The words you chose or simply that, yours. No one can tell you what’s right, wrong, dirty, too vulgar or anything else. If your lover finds them offensive, then get another lover. (Just kidding) Really, I’m not but you do you, okay. Sometimes it may take a while to become comfortable with someone before you can finally break out of your shell. No seriously, just ease into it slowly. Say something like, “Oh baby that feels so good” “Yes, right there” “Work it” “Faster” “slower” "harder" "softer" things like such. Once you see what kind of response you receive, then you will know just how far or open you can become. I was having a conversation with my best friend and we got to talking about “dirty talk” in the bedroom or should I say as she calls it, "getting booty". (Yes, people do still call it that!!!) LOL The bedroom isn’t the only place you can talk dirty, right! Anyway, I shared with her some of the things I’ve said and she was speechless. She was shocked because she didn’t know I had it in me. There is nothing better than a lover who is so open-minded, who brings out those types of things. Who makes you want to do things, naughty things, things you haven’t want others to know you do, to them. If you not there yet, it will come. If you know what I’m talking about, then you probably can’t wait to get your hands on whomever it is that does that for you.

Think about it for a second. Who better to converse with than your lover? You know and trust that person enough to take it to the next level of your relationship, friendship or whatever the case. If you sleeping together, you have already crossed a line, so you might as well keep it sexy, that way, you don’t become boring out of your damn mind and never want to see or speak to them again. Yes, it happens! Verbal expression will allow you to share and know just what each other like, dislike, want, desire and everything else in between, hence GREAT SEX!!! No, AMAZING, MIND-BLOWING, TOES-CURLING SEX!!!!

Until you get there, take it easy for now. Some people have to warm up before their full potential is exposed. I don’t think it’s a bad time at all. In fact, I believe that relationships grow, communication isn’t an issue, and sex becomes a major priority, like a drug and you can’t get enough. Hell, think about it, if “talking dirty” is involved in intimacy, then two of the three things most relationships end in are taken care of, sex and communication. I bet you can have an entire conversation about finances and other important things then. For example: The two of you are enjoying sex, it’s feeling incredible and then suddenly one of you brings up dinner. I bet the conversation will go a little like this,

Example 1:

“Baby what you wanna have for dinner tonight?”   
“Turn over.”

Example 2:

“So what you wanna do tonight Babe? You wanna go out for dinner?”
“Meet me in the room in ten minutes.”

Example 3:
“How was your day today, Sweetie? You hungry?”
“Oh, Mr. Clark got on my last nerve. I am so sick and tired on his old ass.”
“Oh yeah, come here sat on my lap and tell me all about it.Let me lick all of your cares away.”

Who wouldn't want open-conversation like that? Anyway, you get what I’m saying. Each conversation went back to sex and because it was so smooth, one didn’t dare correct the other or get offended because of their profound communicating outside and in the bedroom. It was so on the same level that they knew just what to say to answer each question with the correct responses.  If sex was open-conversation, everyone would love, love, love expressing themselves. You can talk about bills, babies, backing it up, blowing, and any other b words or anything else for that matter. Every letter of the alphabet could be discussed. Nothing would be off limits. Now ya’ll probably think I’m crazy but sex is a weapon, plus it’s the truth. Most women tend to get their way by using sex to do just that. “Rolling right, while riding dirty can get your hair done, nails did, everything done. (Oh you fancy huh) Drake knew what the hell he was talking about when he came up with that song. And if you really want something special, like a new designer handbag or red-bottom shoes, don’t even mention “licking” and “lollipops” in the same sentence. Hey, I’m just saying! But it works both ways. Men can get fed in the bedroom and dining room on a daily basis and more often than not, he doesn’t have to leave one or the other to end with a satisfied belly. “Talking dirty” can make us want to cook, clean and everything else for our lover if the conversation is right. Sex can, great sex can make us do things we normally wouldn’t do, especially when you love the person and they can take care of business right. Am I right or am I right? Sometimes we tend to take more from a person because the sex is spectacular. I often wondered why I saw women and men both being treated badly in relationships, which stayed but I can honestly say I understand. Now don’t take this the wrong way because I am not advising anyone to stay with someone who treats them badly. I am only saying that I understand. Great sex is hard to come by, so when you have it, you tend to want to keep it to yourself. You become selfish. You don’t want anyone to have what you have.  
Bottom line, there is nothing wrong with taking your relationship up a notch by adding dialogue to intimacy. Do whatever works. Holler, scream, yell, curse, slap, punch, if that gets the job done and you both, a happy ending or two, go for it. “Talking dirty” is what you make out of it. I know several couples who do it. They are some of the happiest, annoying people you will ever meet. I guess because their sex-life is so wonderful, they don’t seem to let anything bother them. Would it be so bad to be like that? Imagine walking around singing “la-le-la-le-la” all day without a care in the world, thinking about some of the things you and your lover said to each other the night before. What about receiving a dirty text message from them saying what they wanna do you do when they see you? What about sending a dirty text message telling them how you gone tear that ass up but in more expressive way? That just put a big silly smile on my face because I send and receive such texts. Sue me! Life is too short to go through it bitter, negative and sexually unsatisfied. The choice is yours. Do something about it. A little “talking dirty” ain’t never hurt nobody! Well, maybe it has, ha-ha!!!!!(And yes, I know there are a lot of double negatives in that last sentence but you get what I’m saying) And in that case, like Tupac said, “I ain’t mad at ya, I ain’t mad ya” Do whatever it takes, seriously! I would go more into detail but some of you all are not ready. Just refer back to a few, just a few is all it will take of my stories and I promise if you didn’t know how or what to say, you will. Until then, be kind, be real and be safe. Those three things will change your life and everyone around you, leaving you a better person from it. Don’t take yourself too serious. Learn to laugh at yourself. Smile more often and like the title of Tyrese Gibson’s new book, “Get out of your own way”. And always remember, talking is how we as people communicate best, why not add a little something extra into those conversations!

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