Monday, August 29, 2011

Let's Talk About Sex (Part 7) "Take What You Learn and Help Yourself and Others Grow"


When I thought about doing a series for my blog, I initially didn’t know what subject and approaches to take in order to make the series relevant or insightful to everyday people and their everyday relationships. The more I thought, the more ideas came regarding the topic of choice, sex. Sex covers a multitude of information. It is entertaining, diverse, interesting and more importantly what many people can relate to and want to know more about. (The more you know, the more you grow, right! Knowledge is POWER) Adding or should I say, finding the right words and flare to speak about sex became more broaden as the journey progressed and ultimately became something passionate for me to speak openly about. True, the subject is considered taboo, touchy and off limits, which many people find embarrassing or offensive but I took it as a way to connect people to different levels regarding sex, to help make relationships better, learn how to spice things up and bring insight and romance back as it should be. Knowing what others do in relationships can help others get there or come up with other ways to take their relationship to the next level. Why not share something that has worked for you? Why not help others achieve happy endings, beautiful beginnings and wonderful in betweens? The world would not have so many bitter, uptight people, walking around all today generating negative energy into the atmosphere, I believe. The responses and feedback I received were astounding. Many people connected to the topics. They posted comments or sent emails thanking me for speaking about sex so openly and without reserve.

As I tell anyone, I am no expert nor do I claim to be, but if my life experiences can help someone, if only one person, along their journey to become a better partner, spouse, lover or friend, then my intent was successful. I don’t have to reach anyone at all because I write because of my passion for it. Writing is therapeutic for me. It gives me nothing more than to listen to the thoughts in my head and bring them to life on paper. I believe that if one is given a gift, it should be shared to touch and help others find their own. It just so happened that this time, sex was the catalyst. I do plan to do other series and speak about other topics pertaining to passion and pleasure and yes, I am going to get back to my stories. Someone asked me when or if I would be posting new erotic tales and the answer is, of course. Chillax, they are going to be more vivid and better than before. (Trust and believe)LOL

First, I discussed GREAT SEX, which created a buzz of emails asking to say more and thanks for all the insight. Do you know one young woman told me that she thought she was having great sex until she read my blog about the subject? She confessed that she learned that she was the giver and was only receiving little to nothing, but because she was always left with a few “happy endings” she just took that as great sex. She said many of her girlfriends weren’t achieving orgasm during sex, and she felt as if she were the lucky one. Now, I was shocked! I didn’t think speaking openly about this topic would hit so close to home. She was very comfortable sharing her story and after speaking a few times, she thanked me and asked that I continue to speak about such topics. She said that many people, women especially need to know if they are giving too much and not receiving as should. I smiled as I listened to this bright, passionate young woman speak with such conviction, confidence and charisma. All I can say is that whoever her lover is/was, they should have basked in her light and felt honored to have such a wonderful woman both inside and out as their mate. It’s hard to find a giver when you’re a giver. Most people only want to receive and give nothing in return.

I am glad that I know from talking to others that there are still some out there who value, cherish and will do above and beyond to be a great lover and give plus receive great sex. Kudos to all who apply!!! You are truly diamonds, and soon you will get cut into the perfect silhouette, which the right person will cherish and value for a lifetime.

Next, I discussed “making love”. Some people misconstrue the difference between sex and making love. True they are one in the same but making love goes deeper. It really opens up the soul, ignites the heart and triggers the mind. Once all three components are on the same page, a magical thing happens. We become all dreamy, gushy, and smiley-faced that the world just seems a better place. The fact that you are not alone in this makes it all worth much more. It’s already hard enough to find a lover so openly in tuned to his/her sexuality, that once the act of making love is added into the equation, the relationship blossoms into something enduring, solid, unbreakable, strengthening the bond between the two persons involved. When you see a couple with all of those things intact, you will know. They give off energy like no other. The passion is so intense and intoxicating that you cannot help but notice it and become drawn to them. You simply want to know their secret. Well, making love puts a relationship on that level.

Thirdly, oral sex was discussed. Many people are too afraid even mention the two words in the same sentence in fear that the wrong person will hear and their persona can be damaged, thought of as easy, loose or being promiscuous. Yeah, we have all heard it before. Is that really how you want to live your life? Do you want people to define you and the way you express your love and passion forward your lover? Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to discuss what goes on in your bedroom with anyone because really, it isn’t any ones business. But, being an adult, we can speak freely, openly and honestly with no judgment. If you are in a circle of individuals where you cannot do this, then you are clearly befriending the wrong people. Friends should be able to talk about any and everything without feeling ashamed, afraid and dirty. I personally, don’t see anything wrong with oral sex. I just have a problem with those who chose to put his/her mouth on everybody they come in contact with. Oral sex in special, a way to surpass your desire for your lover, it creates new boundaries in a relationship that keeps it fresh, enchanting and never boring. Now, you don’t have to perform oral sex in get there in your relationship, that isn’t what I’m saying but it can transform your relationship. Many people don’t like or want oral sex and that is great, but I think they are just people who haven’t gotten their yet. It does take effort, openness and communication in a relationship if oral sex is into play. One may not be comfortable or never done it before, but once the subject is discussed, who knows where things will lead.

Next up, Swingers were discussed. I didn’t know much about that particular topic but a friend asked me to speak about it and I did. The more I researched, the more I learned and wanted to know. Everything was done in class, sophistication and was sensual even. I am not a fan of swinging but I also don’t knock those who are. Whatever helps or works to spice up relationships and keep them from ending, go for it! Who am I to say what or what doesn’t work? I asked the questions, is swinging and cheating the same thing? I got an array of answers but one stood out most. The answer I received was, “if both individuals involved in the relationship are on the same page were swinging is concerned, then it’s not cheating? But if one does it behind the others back or anything without of marriage, then it’s called cheating no matter how you look at it”. Enough said, let’s move on!

Romance was then talked about. There was so much to be said regarding that topic and so I did. Romance is beautiful, sexy and a way to keep things spicy between you are your lover. Showing actions is sometimes better than words were romance is concerned. Many people don’t really know how to be romantic or know when someone is being romantic when it is right in front of their faces. It takes a strong person to be romantic because they are opening themselves up to rejection. All people are not willing to just become vulnerable, to prove to someone that they love and appreciate them. It’s sad but true. Mostly men have a problem with being romantic in fear that it makes them look weak, whipped or like a wimp. Let’s get one thing straight and clear, NO IT DOES NOT!!! Women love, love, love romance. We love our men even more when they are romantic, hell we will show them in every way just how much we appreciate it too, hence great sex, making lover, oral sex and romance. See all of the topics are tied together at some point in time. We just have to know when to and what works well together and become creative after that. Romance is tricky but well worth it in the end. Keep trying, the person who deserves it, is out there waiting!

Lastly, talking dirty in the bedroom was discussed. This particular topic made me smile because only years ago, I was one of those people who found it dirty, disgusting and downright unacceptable. But you know what, I grew the hell up and now I can barely keep my damn mouth closed. Yes, I sometimes have to put a pillow over my face or bit my bottom lip or claw into my lover’s back or anything else to keep from being exposed to children, neighbors or whoever is around. I laugh just thinking about it because it heats up sex times a million and brings out something in you and the other person involved. Talking dirty isn’t bad. It is something most couples have to communicate about beforehand. That way, if one is so into it and start calling the other some pretty sexy and intense words, the other person will know that it is nothing personal, just an expression of how good the loving is. So, laugh, enjoy and have fun! Remember, “Talking Dirty” can open up new doors for endless possibilities to your bedroom activity, creating blissful passion and unwavering pleasure to both you and your lover. Try it! What do you have to love!

So, as I close this series on sex, I get ready to begin a new, more broaden topic on relationships. If anyone has a topic he/she wants to discuss regarding relationship, feel free to leave a comment and I will do my best to speak honestly and openly about it. I welcome all comments and feedback. You can always remain anonymous if you are not comfortable giving your name. This is not a blog to discourage or defeat anyone, rather to encourage, empower and build up. Reaching passion and pleasure mind, body and soul, are my main goal for this blog and therefore, I will do my best to achieve that. I know that not everyone will agree or take my advice and I don’t want anyone to feel as if they are obligated to. I just simply want to provide information, life experiences, and resolution that have worked or not so much for myself. I look forward to our next series and welcome all to share the blog with friends, family, spouses, lovers or anyone else. The more, the merrier. If we work together, we can transform our planet into happy, insightful, open-minded, communicators, which will make living in this world better. Bitter, uptight people won’t stand a chance. Knowledge is powerful so offer some of your own to those who you see in need. If they don’t take or accept then you can honestly say that you tried. Knowledge isn’t something you can force, it has to be wanted, desired, relevant to those who receive it.

Stay tuned!!!

September: Relationship series  


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