Monday, November 7, 2011

“Love—do we accept half or nothing at all”

The wind howled, as the trees danced in swaying rhythm, causing a cold chill in the air. She watched silently, with her head pressed against the window pane, hoping that he was okay out in the hoarse elements. What if something happened to him? How could she let him leave? And over such a stupid fight, she sighed. She hated herself for ever falling asleep. A sharp pain kissed her heart. She fell upon the bed sobbing, hysterically. How had she gotten to this point? How had she allowed love to conquer her so profoundly and now be all alone again?

He was her soul mate, her life. Without him she felt lost…dead…sadness. His smile warmed her heart, touched her soul, and penetrated her spirit. She was free to be herself, to laugh, play, and tell jokes without being looked at as immature. He loved the way she carried herself, carefree, classy, innocent, and womanly.   

                Where was he? The wind blew harder as the rain began to pour. It was as if someone had opened up the sky and oceans screamed “surprise”, while saturating the earth. It was hard to believe only moments prior, the sun shined brightly, not a cloud in the sky. They were having a light lunch in the backyard, as they did on most sunny days. They held each other talking…laughing…being who they are. Love radiated from them, giving the atmosphere a part of their special gift. She kissed him, he kissed her. They kissed each other.

                Passion ignited and their bodies became like a raging fire, losing control. They held hands, touched each other tenderly, gazing into each other’s eyes. The intimacy between them was all the four-play needed. She wanted him. He wanted her. They wanted each other. He pulled her into his lap, touching the small of her back. He then realized that she hadn’t worn any panties. He stroked her butt cheeks gently, caressing them with his massive hands. She moaned from pleasure. She grinded slowly on his manhood, feeling it grew inch by inch. A seductive smile escaped her lips.

                They loved each other soft and easy and then the intensely took their passion to another level. Raw chemistry, pushing them both over the edge of reasoning, she screamed pure delights, pushing herself further into his swollen member. He gazed deep into her eyes with every movement. She became hypnotized, transfixed on him, unable to take her eyes away from his. He moved, suddenly getting into his knees, bringing her down under him.

                She spread wide for him, giving him total access to her beautiful pink flower. He entered her slow at first and then gave faster, rougher strokes, causing ripples of waves to overtake her. She crawled at his back but he cupped her hands with one of his own. He used the other to bring one of her legs up to his shoulder. She was open and taking all of what he had to offer, which was more than she anticipated. All this time and she still hadn’t gotten used to just how well-endowed his was. Licking her lips, she almost fainted from all the pleasure she felt in that moment.

                He pumped up and down, fast and slowly, until he felt his loins on fire. A spark started in his toes, making its way up to his manhood. He exploded, casting his seed into the depths of her hidden jewel. She rode a few more waves of her own, feeling her release soar over his. She moved easy, milking him with her sweet cream. They kissed. They caressed. They made love.

                Now, he was gone. After all this time, long years for being with each other, there for each other, best friends. She should have never asked the question “Do you love me”. She wanted those words to die. She wanted to take them back but as she drifted off to sleep in his arms, he never answered, only stroked her hair with his hands.

When she woke up, he was gone. Her heart broke into a million tiny pieces but if she could love him a lifetime, she would love him with every tiny piece. She couldn’t help the way she felt about him. She sometimes hated ever telling her true feelings. Expressing herself had always left her alone…broken…wondering was there something wrong with her. If only he would have never left. What if she never saw him again? How was her life going to be? The thought caused endless tears to stream down her face.  

                She soaked up all the love she had inside, turned her attention back to the last hours they had spent together, channeling every emotion, feeling and thought to that magical moment, freezing it in her memory forever. If they never met again, she would have those beautiful moments to keep their love alive. If he didn’t love her, why would he pretend all this time? How could someone be so deceitful? And yet, she still loved him with every fiber of her existence.

                More rain fell. The wind howled louder. She heard the beat of her heart. Sadness consumed her in realization, she had given herself to someone who didn’t feel the same way she felt about him, about her. How could this happen again? Why was she always giving and receiving nothing in return, other than a cheap thrill…months of passion…being left all broken? “Shatters of a lonely heart” would forever be her theme song.

Never again, she declared in that moment and then the rain stopped. The sun kissed the clouds away, creating another beautiful day. She knew that she was not alone. If he never came back, she was never alone. A smile…a single tear…a laugh that cleansed her soul, she basked in the moment, feeling the presence of something powerful, something greater than any love that she had ever known.

                Love was present, shining through her window, piercing her entire body. Her soul smiled, her heart laughed and her body sealed it all inside, forever. She thought and thought and thought, trying to figure out what was happening. Then just like that, she got it.

“He can’t love you because he doesn’t love himself. He can’t give love. He’s not open to love. He has never known love, so he is afraid. Don’t blame yourself it’s nothing to do with you. And until he comes to that conclusion, he isn’t going to do anything but cause more pain to himself and others.” Suddenly, it became clearer. She was better off without him. She deserved better, someone who loved themselves enough, to love her eternally. No matter how much he gave her indescribable passion, pleasing her body, there was much more to it than that. She wept, feeling sorry for the next woman he encountered. She was in for a rude awakening or was she?

She realized too that, “they always give more, love more, fight more, pleasure more, devote more, commit more, try more, with the next!” But to each their own, life goes on and some the one who deserves her, all of her, who is willing to give all of him, would come and they would live happily blessed!     


















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