“When you know you’re ready for Commitment!”
I can only hope that she keeps the values and morals instilled in her, that she will remember them as she enters the dating world. I am so glad that we haven’t come to that yet! (Help me Baby Jesus!)
1. Do you wake up each morning thinking of only yourself? If you answered yes, you really have problems. In order to be in a serious relationship, you have to think of others, putting them and their needs before yourself. Who wants to be with a selfish asshole?
2. Do you have to have sex every day? Being in a serious relationship, you will not have sex every day. There will be things that come up that won’t allow it. Sure, the two of you will enjoy each other very much, but unless you know something that I don’t, you will not be doing the do 365 days of the year. If you know something we need to know that can change that fact, please let a sista in on that! LOL Seriously, the body needs at least a day or two to recuperate.
3. Do you want children? Be sure to make it clear to the person you consider becoming serious with know this beforehand. I know a few couples who ended up breaking up because one wanted kids and the other didn’t but didn’t share that bit of information before things got to the point that marriage was in the works. Just be honest with yourself and the other person.
4. How is your credit? Whatever baggage you bring into a relationship and it turns into marriage, will follow. Being responsible will eliminate that question from even coming up. We all have probably been there and done that, especially if you have attended college. The companies throw yourselves at you. You can basically get as many credit cards as you like and suffer in the end if you do not read the fine print or be responsible. Using the card for only emergencies or not just making the minimum payment will keep you from suffering in the future. Credit card debt is the number one financial problem most couples face to date. So, have your finances secured.
5. Do you allow your family to interfere or dictate your relationships? No woman or man will allow that to go on forever. If you are with someone right now who does, lucky you. But in the end, who wants to be with a pushover? Have a backbone. Treat others as you want to be treated. And no one wants to be with a mother’s boy. Yes, we want you to love, respect and treat your mother wonderful because that is ultimately the way we want you to treat us, but there is a limit. Mama cannot run her household and yours too. We can get alone and be merry or we can just be cordial and keep it moving!
6. Do you have to go clubbing every weekend? Now don’t get me wrong a little partying never hurt anybody, but being at the club every time it opens, is too much. If you have a good man/woman at home, why are you at the damn club? You know what happens at the club or the kind of people who always there. Don’t put yourself in situations you won’t be able to explain. Hell, don’t even have to explain. I love dancing but I do not be at the club shaking my ass. I will just turn up the music and have my own club. Do it together and who knows what will happen after the last song is played!
7. Do you take care of yourself? No one wants to be with someone, no one else wants. Enough said!
8. Do you have a five yr. plan? No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t have goals, realistic goals. Have something to offer in the relationship. Don’t expect someone to just take care of you and you cannot take care of yourself. Want something out of life so that when you are ready to retire, you can. When you want to buy something, you can.
9. Do you praise materialistic things? Is your car off-limits from eating? Will you get mad if someone accidentally stepped on your new shoes or spilled something on your clothing? Things come and go. There are people in the world without clean drinking water, decent food to eat so don’t think that because your Jordan’s or Polo got messed up it is a big damn deal! You can be the cleanest person on the outside and ugly as hell on the inside. Things come and go. Grow up!
10. Do you talk to more than three people on the phone, via text or email on a daily basis? When thinking of being in a committed relationship, this is a no-no. The only person that should be on your mind is the person whom you want to be with. They should be all you need to brighten your day, make you smile or get your motor running. Each time you see them, get a text or call from them, you should get butterflies. If you need other people to fill each void, then you are clearly not ready for a committed relationship. When you get lonely because you are not able to be with the one you want to be with, due to work or other situations and you have to call someone else to occupy your time, you should just continue the dating or friendship phrase. As I said before, feelings and emotions are nothing to play with, period.
11. Do you already give kids? Children play an important role in dating. They will eventually determine if you will be in a serious relationship, period. I am not saying you should live or base your love life on your children but they do have a say whether you like it or not. This will also let you know if the person you are considering getting serious with will treat your kids as their own. You cannot let everyone meet your kids. (I will be discussing this particular topic later on this month in more detail)
12. Are you ready to join friendships? If you have friends that you are not willing to introduce to your mate then you may not be ready to settle down. I believe that in relationships, your friends and their friends should become “our” friends. That way, there is no confusion.
13. Are you ready to be considerate with your time? Spending quality time with someone is essential in making any type of relationship work. Will you be able to make time if time is an issue to show that you are willing to do whatever it takes where your relationship is concerned? Are you ready to share your whereabouts with someone? Yes, he/she will ask and expect an answer. If you always talk or text and then suddenly the routine are broken where periods of time go by without contact, but prepared to have to answer questions or explain yourself. Don’t incriminate yourself or become a liar. It’s simple, if you are not ready to do this; you need a little more time.